Jillie Side Up

Toasting Toast

2011-09-01T12:20:00.002-06:00

So remember that time I moved to California?

Our stuff is still in storage there.

Two years later.

I miss toast.

The toaster is in California.

Don’t underestimate the value of toast.

An egg sandwich on bread is so boring. On toast though, it is both tantalizing and tasty.

There’s other stuff I miss too.

I know the items are only possessions and I shouldn’t attach so much sentimentality to things, but I can’t help it.

I miss my mom’s guitars, my great grandma’s shelf, and the rest of our monkey collection. Yep, we collect monkeys. Books, knickknacks, Halloween decorations, and my red tennies are there too.

Guess what?

Bobaloo is going to get our stuff this month.

It’s going to be like Christmas when that truck pulls up.

We can have our toast, and eat it too.

2011-08-25T10:57:00.006-06:00

Last Friday Bobaloo took me to Red Rocks to see Atmosphere. I am not characteristically a hip hop fan, but since my little brother introduced me to the group, I have been rocking out to them on my iPod on my walks.

The show was fun and the company was awesome too.

Before last Friday, the most recent shows I saw were Widespread Panic back in June. Three days of fun, I tell ya.

The Panic shows were also Red Rocks.

Why does music sound better in the summer?

We bumped into an acquaintance of Bobaloo’s last Friday at the show and he commented that he could only imagine what is on our iPods at home with the different types of shows we go to.

Sticking to one genre is so boring, don’t you think? Variety is the proverbial spice of life.

I bought a record player a couple of months ago. On the weekends I like to go to Goodwill and Arc to comb through records. I’ve found a few gems.

I prefer records to CDs. I prefer CDs to iMusic. There something about listening to an album in the order it was intended and not just pushing shuffle.

Shuffling is chaotic. I enjoy the tidiness of an album.

What have you been diggin’ on lately?

The Ketchup Incident

2011-08-18T09:22:00.002-06:00

I am not sure when everything changed. I was shy when I was little and kind of nervous as a teenager. I always thought my unease with the world would be something that I grew out of.

My anxiety has only gotten worse, especially in the last couple of years.

Anxiety is tricky and awkward when navigating the world and people. I have been stressed and cried at the UPS store. I have had panic attacks at work and at King Soopers. If I am in a new situation with a crowd? Forget it. Plane rides at the moment are out of the question. My heart gets agitated. I get uncomfortable and upset.

A while back, Bobaloo and I were watching the Bears game and my eyes started welling up because I couldn’t find the nerve and got flustered about the idea of having to ask the waitress for ketchup. Bobaloo got me some ketchup. We often refer to this as “the ketchup incident.” I think that was the first time I realized how bad things had really gotten.

So if I am having a bad day and let Bobaloo know that I had a ketchup incident, he’ll know exactly what I am talking about. The problem with anxiety is that without it, I like meeting new people in new situations. I like going to concerts and being a part of the crowd. I like traveling.

I am anxious but not scared.

I have tried pulling myself up by the bootstraps, pulling it together, putting myself out there, and bucking up. None of these things seem to be very effective. I have tried different medications with varying degrees of success.

How do you ease worry and tension in your life? How do you keep the ketchup incidents at bay?

Liquid Superpowers

2011-08-15T08:10:00.006-06:00

I carry a teensy weensy notebook around with me wherever I go in case I have a genius idea or thought. Genius thoughts usually do not happen. I want to be ready though, in case the big one hits.

I tend to be a mastermind when I have had a few cocktails. Who does not get liquid superpowers?

I was out on Saturday afternoon listening to music on a bar patio when I had another one of my “genius” thoughts. I quickly wrote down a few words, knowing that I would remember the significance of it all later.

old people

new people

old people were once new too

can’t get old, until you meet a few new

So, now it’s Monday morning and I have no idea what kind of note I was trying to write myself in a haze of fun.

Song lyrics, perhaps?

Does this ever happen to you?

Revolving

2011-08-11T10:09:00.001-06:00

In movies revolving doors are hilarious, whimsical, and perhaps a little metaphorical. When you are a child, a revolving door is exciting; something to look forward to. As a kid, I ached to spin eternally.

As a grownup, I find them downright terrifying.

Dumped!

2011-08-09T09:21:00.002-06:00

I got dumped. I met him on Craigslist and he only charged twenty-five bucks an hour, which may seem cheap but he’s a college kid just getting by. My husband said go ahead, try to hook up before I get done with work so I can pick you up on the way home. I thought it’d work out with him and my life would be so much easier.

I called him and arranged to meet at four o’clock on Tuesday. We would meet at the library for one hour. It started well, and we met up every Tuesday for a few weeks. I thought everything was going swimmingly.

Then, I got burned.

Math. He was my math tutor. And he dumped me. He stood me up. No text message, no phone call, not even an email.

How mortifying? It is hard enough sometimes to admit you need help and to reach out, and for this to happen? I am so embarrassed. My tutor quit me. And now I am left here to pick up the fragile bits and pieces of my arithmetic and algebra.

With the school year beginning again, I am faced with a problem. Do I spend a lot of money and time on remedial math courses to get to the one I need to move on? Or do I hire a tutor so I can test out, take the one math course, and move on? It all really comes down to time and money. Kind of a lot of money. A lot of money for courses that don’t “count.”

But on the other hand, we all know how the tutoring worked out. Am I that frustrating to teach? Probably. I don’t like to do stuff I am not good at, which is not one of my more endearing qualities.

To be fair, I haven’t taken a math class in more than ten years.

I am not great teaching myself math out of a book. Khan Academy is pretty cool.

Maybe there is a solution I am not thinking of.

Any suggestions?

Don't Let Me Down

2011-08-04T10:41:00.004-06:00

When I was a teenager I used to form an opinion of how I felt about a person by what their favorite band was or which musician was their favorite. That was really shallow. I just thought it would sum up enough about the person for me to proceed however with the acquaintanceship, friendship, relationship, or whatever. I don’t know if that makes sense. Kind of snobby I suppose.

Some of my best friends listen to really crappy music. I still love them.

The night I met Bobaloo we had an exchange about Neil Young. If you like or love or appreciate Neil Young I will be devoted to you forever. If you don’t, that’s okay. Bobaloo and I had our conversation about the song Sugar Mountain almost nine years ago.

There’s a fun game I like to play (usually at happy hour). I love happy hour. It’s just so darn happy.

Sometime in my late teenage years I heard or read something (let me know if you know if you’ve heard this too.) about your favorite Beatles song and your personality. Basically, you can tell a lot about a person’s qualities by what their favorite Beatles song is.

Someone who loves Nowhere Man is going to have a totally different spirit than someone whose favorite is Blackbird or Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds or Help! or Strawberry Fields Forever and so on and so on. Well, hopefully you get the idea.

Now I know this isn’t an exact science to getting to know someone. It is fun though and even people who aren’t super into music have a favorite Beatles song (it’s usually Let it Be). The more booze, the better the analysis.

I have been playing this game for a decade now. My favorites get swapped as I get older and my life changes. When I was really little I loved Hey Jude, fifteen years ago my favorite was In My Life, ten years ago I would have said Blackbird, eight years ago Revolution 9. For a long time, I stuck with Here Comes the Sun.

The songs changed when my life changed. The songs changed my life and my life changed the songs. What?

These days, Don’t Let Me Down is the one.

Some people find the song to be kind of sorrowful; I find it sweet and sentimental which is how I am feeling these days I guess.

Go ahead, find your favorite. What does it say about you?

Smack Talk, Shuttlecocks, and Ducks

2011-07-29T12:18:00.008-06:00

I enjoy games. Not a whole lot will make me happier than playing Yahtzee on the patio on a summer day. I also really like Jenga.

I am by and large not a competitor as I do not have an athletic bone in my body and never really get psyched for the big game. Badminton is about as badass as I get. Plus, shuttlecock is a hilarious word.

Invite me to play a board game, cards, or trivia though? BRING IT ON.

My trash-talking, ready-for-action self is ready for the cut-throat competition. I turn into a different person. One who uses phrases such as IN YOUR FACE! and PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT! There are other phrases loudly expressed but I can’t really think of them when I am not under pressure during an intense game of cribbage.

My best girlfriend Jillian is similar. She’s even more competitive and also has a knack for talking smack. Our cribbage games are interesting to overhear. We almost got into fisticuffs once over a game of Trivial Pursuit. If Jillian ever reads this: I am still right. Luckily, our friendship survived and we were able to carry on with our games.

Camping and Cribbage

Bobaloo is awesome and will play Yahtzee with me. He’s not such a fan of the trash-talk so I keep it to a minimum. Cooperation, not competition.

We also have had a two-year rock-paper-scissor tournament going on. He has consistently won EVERY game for the last two years up until a couple of weeks ago. I won, and the smack talk began. It went on for a good half hour or so. Yep. He wins 100 times; I win once and won’t shut up about it. He reclaimed the title last Sunday so my victory was short-lived. He is a quiet winner. Never bragging, never rubbing it in. Dignified.

Then something happened. Something unprecedented. The 4th of July duck races.

He won the first race (well his duck did).

He cheered his duck on.

Pictures were taken of the winning duck.

We even held a ceremony for the duck: Bobaloo won a tee shirt. We celebrated the duck victory hard (with a pitcher of beer).

He was a proud champion.

He was happy as a duck in water.

Gimme Shelter

2011-07-20T13:51:00.006-06:00

There weren't a lot of boundaries when I was a kid. There were a few rules to be followed and with the rest, my parents just kind of hoped good old common sense would kick in.

My dad has always been weird about safety. Safety Dave. He was a boy scout. If you take me camping, I'll be really prepared.

I will have my raingear and maglite, promise.

If you count from a flash of lightning to the next thunder and divide the seconds by five that is how many miles the lightning is from you.

I was three when I remembered hail for the first time. It broke the kitchen window and I sobbed when dad went outside by the tree to take pictures of the ice stones. The front steps were AstroTurf and the railing was wrought iron.

There, you can feel a storm coming. The barometric pressure makes your bones feel peculiar. The sky becomes eerie and the clouds develop into worrisome formations. Colors change. I am afraid of storms. My heart drops down to the pit of my stomach and I worry.

In the warm months of Minnesota, the tornado and thunderstorm and flash flood warnings are a fairly regular sound. Then, a lady's voice comes over the emergency broadcast speakers and tells you to seek immediate shelter.

This was a Safety Dave rule. Get home, get in the basement, have flashlights, listen to the radio, or watch the weather report.

My brother David was always in the garage watching the storm approach, the clouds change, and the lightning. I wanted safety. Sometimes my mom and dad were home. Sometimes I was alone. Sometimes I was with one brother or the other or with both. Thunder so loud it would reverberate in your chest. I waited storms out in the basement.

Weather can be terrifying. Especially, when you're a kid.

Colorado monsoon season is happening. Almost every afternoon for the past couple of weeks there have been thunderstorms. Rain, hail, lightning, thunder, fast water, etc.

The storms come in and roll out quickly here. Sirens don't go off very often.

Still, when the rain begins and I am rattled by the claps of thunder and the lightning I cannot help but want to go home and get in the basement. I don't use the phone or shower when there is lightning either.

I know I am safe. I keep myself safe.

Why are some fears more difficult to outgrow than others?

Do you watch the storms come in?

Thin-Skinned

2011-07-11T10:22:00.003-06:00

I like to be above the notion that women are mean and catty to one another over things insincere. When I am out and about, I try to treat people the way I would like to be treated. Some days and in some circumstances this is easier said than done.

When a woman looks awesome, I tell her how awesome she looks. There is no way and no need to try to measure how my this-and-that compares with her this-and-that.

It happens all the time.

For a number of years I was very sad, insecure, and extremely thin. When out, it was amazing how insensitive people could be to someone they did not know, about an issue that was none of their business. Their words damaged what little confidence I had.

Time has passed. I am physically healthy. I wish I could say past issues are gone for good, but every once in a while they creep back into my awareness of not being good enough and not measuring up.

Words hurt. Yesterday a woman told me that I was gorgeous, BUT, I should really drink more water for a better complexion, do stomach exercises, and suck in my tummy. She went on about my flaws for a fair amount of time. I said nothing. I drew in each mean word and said nothing.

She was a stranger that I had only met an hour before.

She crushed me.

I am ashamed I sat there and spoke with her any longer after her words; I am angry I didn’t tell her to shove it. I am irritated that at twenty-eight this shit still bothers me.

I am embarrassed that I went home and cried.

And now I am blogging about it, because I cannot let it go.

One person’s words wrecked me yesterday.

My skin has gradually gotten a lot thicker in the last few years. I can deal with the vicissitudes of life a lot better now.

I have always been easily hurt by mean words, a little vulnerable. Maybe that is something that shouldn’t change.

I am not sure I want to become unfeeling or desensitized to meanness. That would imply that it is okay to be unkind. And it’s not.

I used to have a treasure chest Got so heavy that I had to rest I let it slip away from me Didn't need it anyway So I let it slip away. -Neil Young, Silver and Gold

Right on Target

2011-07-08T10:55:00.003-06:00

MapQuest is made for people like me. I love it and do not feel comfortable going somewhere I have never been without having directions printed out. Also, I do not have a phone with internet or a GPS navigator so directions are a necessity. I can manage okay when people tell me “ go right” or “take a left at the stop sign,” but when people start throwing around words like “West” or “North” I freak out a bit because my sense of direction is pretty poor. This is especially frustrating in Colorado where every Smart-Alec feels the need to remind you that the mountains are always West.

This simple little reminder makes my blood boil for three reasons:

1. You cannot see the mountains at night.

2. Some of the roads go diagonally.

3. You cannot see the mountains in the city.

4. This “friendly” reminder is always said with a bit of condescension.

Also, I have just noticed that when Bobaloo is driving I always look out the passenger-side window when riding in the car; I never look forward and never pay attention to where the car is headed. Therefore, I never really know where I am or how I got there (insert life metaphor here).

This is where Target comes in.

He left and I was alone in a new city for the first time left to my own devices and sensibilities (or lack thereof). The one place I knew how to get to? Target. I took a drive to Target and was able to find Subway and the hardware store from there. From that point forward all I had to do was remember where things were in relation to Target. Why this was easier than finding things from home, I have no idea.

After a year we moved to the City of Golden. Do you know what makes Golden awesome? The Target is attached to the mall! Same story, different town. Again Target was located in such a location that it was easy for me to remember which highways or major roads were by if they were heading towards Target or away.

Maybe I should just get a compass.

Technology and the Sibling Relationship

2011-01-20T13:42:00.003-07:00

I started school on Tuesday. My younger brother Kyle is a freshman up at Bemidji State in Minnesota. I am generally not someone who texts a whole lot but texting is his primary mode of communication.

Sometimes with our age difference it is a little difficult to find things in common to chat about. My brother is awesome at letting me know what is hip in music these days and has gotten me to enjoy Atmosphere and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros quite a bit. I still don’t know much about that Kid Cudi fellow, but I am working on it.

Kyle is very interested in economics so I was pretty excited to share my vast knowledge that I had gained in one class with him. This is how it went:

Jill: Had my 1st economics class last night. Are you proud? Dad said if i need help to call you first, him second.

Kyle: Awesome! Is it micro or macro? Yeah i can totally help you out anytime.

Jill: Macro. But the amount of fun i am having is micro. Ha.

Kyle: Haha macro is my favorite im actually taking it right now

Jill: Yeah, i had to make a decision at the margin and after weighing my opportunity costs, i chose macro.

Kyle: Haha nicely put

Jill: I am trying to use the vocab in real life so i can remember it. Bobaloo is not going to enjoy this.

Kyle: Haha so he’s a negative externality?

Jill: I haven’t gotten to that word yet. I’ll let you know!

Kyle: Haha sounds good

*Also, when he responded to my first text I was in bed sleeping (I feel old and lame) so the rest of the conversation happened this afternoon.

Action

2010-12-20T12:59:00.005-07:00

Hello! Today is Blog Swap 8 through 20 Something Bloggers (20SB). The goal is to connect each other with different bloggers. Pretty fun, eh? Today I am hosting ~Soule from I mean...it happens, her blog is full of great writing and fun pictures. Be sure to check me out over there today!

Its blog swap week and I was really excited to have the opportunity to reach out to a whole new group of readers.

We received the “blog swap” subject. On Thursday which was "Action. What will you do next year that you've been putting off for too long?" A apt question at this time of year as people begin preparing their new year’s resolutions.

I rolled the subject around in my brain batting around witty options involving hot yoga (immediately eliminated b/c of the sweating potential), making a bucket list and a multitude of other grand ideas.

I decided to let the idea marinate in my brain as I had a few days before the blogs were supposed to be posted.

I went home on Friday (to Baltimore), to launch a full scale one day/ one woman cookie bake-a- thon. I spent all day Saturday baking cookies for Christmas and as I measured I pondered my blog , as I switched around my 20th tray of cookies , I pondered , and I accidently launched a hunk of peanut butter dough at batdog I pondered. As evening fell I knew where I was going with this.

I finally called it quits around 8 and laid down on the couch with batdog to watch a little TV and rest my back.

Right before thanksgiving batdog had two sets of seizures. The parents immediately took him off to the vet where he was diagnosed with epilepsy. A seizure disorder that can occur in older dogs. He was prescribed a medicine that would help to prevent any future seizures.

After we made it through thanksgiving and then his 15th birthday with no more episodes we started to relax into the idea that maybe we were in the clear - the meds are working and the little dude was good to go.

Saturday night at 8:35 he had a seizure. I have never been more afraid of anything in my entire life. I held my dog and begged god with every fiber of my being to keep him safe. The seizure passed and I laid with my dog trying to stay calm so he wouldn't be scared. About 30 minutes later he pops up off the couch and headed outside to water mom's bushes. (They do not remember the seizures but are often stunned / exhausted by what happened)

I went to sleep Saturday night in a twin bed with half my body hanging off the bottom and my head on my dogs chest just in case.

On Sunday morning I woke to my mom sounding an urgent SOS. My grandma (mama) a beautiful feisty ninety three year old polish girl; who loves the Steelers and all things sugar, was very sick. We flew into action and got her into the hospital. A few very slow hours later we had our diagnosis of pneumonia.

Thankfully the hospital admitted her and we got her up to a room and set up with fluids and antibiotics to try and build her strength back up. So that's where I find myself laying on an uncomfortable hospital couch begging and bartering with god while my favorite person in the world lies in the bed beside me. I realize I haven't written my blog and its due tomorrow.

So while I am sure I could email my partner jill and explain what’s happening I made a commitment and I want to stick to it. So as I lay here listening to the machines beep and wrestle with some angry thoughts towards god. I find myself trying to answer the question.

Ask me four days ago and you would have gotten an elaborate blog filled with some crazy scheme to rent a Winnebago and Criss-cross the USA visiting the largest ball of twine.

Ask me tonight and you get a terrified girl who is not prepared to deal with the idea that my two favorite people in the world are not invincible. So what do I plan to do this year that I have put of forever? I am going to forget about the bullshit , I'm not going to worry about if my job sucks or I hate my commute , or traffic is backed up for miles with no explanation. I am going to put my family and my friends first and my job somewhere below getting my laundry done. Life is about so much more, and I am going to stop putting that off in 2011.

It is not my intention to be a Debbie downer on my blog - just the opposite in fact it’s my one and only goal to share stories that will make people laugh. But I am also an honest person who doesn't due fake so yes I could have amused you with insane tales and crazy photos but it just didn't seem right.

Maybe some other time.... I promise

-Soule'

Lessons

2010-12-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate to be able to take some free classes in November. While reading the Westword on my way home from work I saw the “A Taste of Judaism” ad. I enrolled and a nice woman from the URJ called to give me directions to the synagogue the class was held at. The class was not meant to convert, but to educate.

I was a little nervous, because I didn’t know quite what to expect and sometimes I can find new social situations a little unnerving. I do not consider myself a very religious person, this is the first time I have voluntarily gone to faith-based education in about 10-15 years. The Rabbi started right in with the lesson and for three weeks he covered Jewish spirituality, ethics, and community.

I was very moved by the Rabbi’s enthusiasm for his faith and congregation. My perspectives on many things have shifted, and I am thankful to give myself the space I need to shift.

I am very grateful to have learned about the rich history and culture of Judaism and walked away from the class with a renewed sense of serving your community and taking care of those within it that cannot take care of themselves. The Rabbi spoke a lot about tikkun olam, which from what I understand, is to strive to improve the world through social action. In the Rabbi’s congregation, being part of the Jewish community includes helping others inside and outside the faith. This is done by working in food banks, giving blood, holding fundraisers and all sorts of other ways to donate time, money, and compassion.

What a great lesson.

Today is the first day of Chanukah.

Happy Chanukah.

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

2010-11-25T08:00:00.002-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving all!

There are many things I am pretty darn thankful for this year. At the top of the list, I am thankful that my older brother made it home safe and sound to his wife and kids from Afghanistan earlier this week. It is also his birthday today and it makes me so happy that he came home just in time for his birthday and the holidays.

Bobaloo and I are still trying to create traditions for ourselves out here because it is just the two of us for the holidays. For a few years running now we have gone to a wonderful buffet on Thanksgiving at the Table Mountain Inn. We are going back again today, solidifying its place in our traditions. No cooking, no cleaning, no leftovers. That's my kind of Thanksgiving.

One of Bobaloo's favorite TV shows is WKRP in Cincinnati. I never watched it until a couple of years ago. Here's a clip of a WKRP Thanksgiving episode. Funniest thing ever. It's a little long, the best parts are at 2:oo and 5:30.

WKRP Turkey Drop - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

I hope everyone's tables are bountiful with food, love, and laughter this year.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about

2010-11-19T08:00:00.001-07:00

Bobaloo, some friends, and I were trying to think of awesome TV theme songs the other night. Well, it started off as a reversed version of “Name That Tune.” We would give Bobaloo a theme song and he would have to hum or sing it. He is surprisingly good at this game. He doesn’t know just the first line or two; he knows every word to a lot of songs. Tickle me impressed.

This game morphed into a debate about what the best TV theme song ever is.

Personal favorites of mine are as follows:

Welcome Back Kotter (all-time favorite) Cheers Laverne and Shirley The Simpsons The Facts of Life Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Married… with Children The Wonder Years

This got me ruminating (I’m deep). They sure don’t write theme songs like they used to. Seriously, I have been trying to think of some really good ones from 1990 forward and all that comes to mind is That 70’s Show, Frasier, Friends, and Fresh Prince (how’s that for alliteration?). Are there obvious ones I am missing? Maybe this is the excuse I need to get cable.

Educating the Masses

2010-11-17T08:10:00.002-07:00

My dad was visiting Bobaloo and I last weekend and on Sunday we found ourselves at Wrigley’s watching the Bears beat the Vikings. We indulged in the breakfast buffet and of course, threw back some Bloody Marys.

When the waitress brought my dad his Bloody, he looked down and wondered where the snit was. This is funny because Bobaloo and I had been discussing the regional differences of Bloody Marys a few weeks ago. We noted that here in Colorado the Bloody is served sans snit and a little spicier than in Minnesota.

What is a snit you ask? It’s kind of like a beer chaser that gets served in a lowball glass with your Bloody. You sip on the beer while drinking your Bloody Mary.

After much research, I have concluded the snit is something that is only served in bars in the Midwest, more specifically Minnesota and Wisconsin. I have to say that I am a fan of this element of drinking. It kind of takes the edge of the Bloody.

More research revealed that a snit is:

a U.S. unit of volume for liquor equal to 2 jiggers, 3 U.S. fluid ounces, or 88.7 milliliters. The origin of this unit is unknown.

Fascinating.

Do they serve snits in your state?

P.S. To learn what a Morning Margarita is check out A.B.’s blog The A-List

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." Churchill to Lady Astor: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Back at it

2010-11-03T09:32:00.001-06:00

My time away from here has been great. I still keep up with all of your blogs, you know. I currently am reading them through Google Reader though because they have blocked Blogger at work. Bo-ring! I think I’ll change it up though and do the blogging on the weekend so I can blog about town as I please.

So, where did I leave off? Oh yes, impending summertime. Summer was fantastic! There were graduations, weddings, concerts, trips, and many visitors. It buzzed by breakneck speed as usual. It was very special to me to be able to spend so much time with my little brother before he left for college. I am pretty psyched for all of the experiences ahead of him. Remember what it’s like to be nineteen? Fun stuff. Like, really fun stuff!

There were a couple of funerals over the summer too. One was a dear family friend whom I have known since childhood, the other a friend from the local watering hole. One had been there for most of the important events in my life and at one time was even my employer. The final time I saw him was last Christmas. I think of him and his wife and his kids often and think about how iniquitous life can be. The other had a small memorial at the tavern I knew him from. Although I didn’t know him very long, I think of his smile and wish I had known he was into karaoke while I had the chance to hear him sing. It was really strange to have gotten to know him better as a result of his passing.

September rolled around and I was a bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding. It was a happy day. A week later Bobaloo and I were back in Minnesota to celebrate his parent’s fiftieth wedding anniversary. A couple of days after that, Bobaloo and I celebrated our own two-year wedding anniversary. A lot of love going on. I like it.

A ton of more awesome and less than awesome stuff went down as well. It was hard to get back into the blog swing of this because I just kept thinking, where do I start?

In the last six months or so I have sat down to start writing, to start explaining. I could never figure out where to begin so it has been easier to not start in at all.

When things have a habit of not working out for a long time, trying really hard and not trying at all becomes a very fine line.

It’s not much of an explanation I guess. That okay though, I suppose.

Anyway, this marks the return of me and my regular Jillie Side Up self. Thanks for sticking with me!

“For her own breakfast she’ll project a scheme, Nor take her tea without a stratagem” -Edward Young

Summertime

2010-05-21T09:51:00.001-06:00

Summer is coming and I could not be more excited. It’s supposed to be in the eighties around these parts this weekend and I cannot wait to sit on the patio with my book and bask in the sunshine. The pool opens next weekend and I am eager to blow up all of the pool toys and get to some floating. Bobaloo has offered to provide me with some swimming lessons this summer and I think I am going to take him up on it despite my wariness of being a difficult student. I will have to check the attitude at the door. I don’t like to learn things that don’t come easy to me. Ouch, that kind of hurt to admit.

A big part of why I love summer is because there are a ton of free or cheap things to do like fishing, gold panning, camping, festivals, basking, etc. I am thinking about doing some patio gardening although even with my efforts, plants seem to die on me. I try not to take it too personally. Do you plant anything on your patio that is a success year after year?

I have a couple of big plans for June which I am psyched about. A week ago, I booked a plane ticket to the Twin Cities to go to my little brother’s high school graduation party. It’ll be the perfect time of year to visit and I am glad to be able to celebrate his big day. I don’t know about you, but high school graduation was one of the best days of my life. I cannot believe the kid is eighteen and will be heading to college in the fall. It seems like it was not long ago that I was announcing to my third grade classroom that I now had a little brother. My, how time flies. I am already thinking about fun and interesting things I can send to him to adorn his dorm room with. I didn’t do the whole college thing for more than a week so I am not really sure what the essentials are these days. Any ideas of items you can’t live without as a freshman in a dorm?

The other big event is of course, Widespread Panic. They didn’t play Red Rocks last summer and it felt like I was missing something. I am pretty stoked to be amongst all sorts of people having all sorts of fun.

I now work at a job where I get holidays off again. Bring it on summer, with all of your paid holidays. I can’t wait!

Panic on the Rocks

2010-05-04T08:33:00.001-06:00

On Saturday I was able to get Widespread Panic tickets for Red Rocks. To me, Red Rocks is heaven on Earth. Who knew such a wonder was in Morrison, Colorado? Who knew a heap of very old rocks could move and inspire people from all over the world? Nestled in the green hills of Morrison, you come upon gigantic rocks of red jutting out of the land and it is hard not to be dazzled by the terrain in this tiny community.

I had heard of Red Rocks for a few years from Bobaloo, who raved about this geological marvel. He kept telling me that words couldn’t do the park justice and it was something I would just have to see for myself. He described Red Rocks as his personal Mecca. The first time I visited Colorado we were seeing if the state was somewhere we wanted to move.

I was afraid to fly back then, so we packed up the old Ford Taurus and headed West from Minnesota. It is a fourteen hour trip and we drove straight through the night taking turns at the wheel and sleeping in the passenger street. The long stretch of Nebraska made for a rough drive. We made into Colorado just in time for morning rush hour and the hotel was not ready for another four hours. We were tired, hungry, and hopeful.

With time on our hands, Bobaloo suggested we drive up to Red Rocks so I could finally grasp it and he could visit the place he had come to for so many summers. I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was go back in the car and traipse around town, but I sucked it up and grudgingly got into the car. You cannot see Red Rocks from afar, as we started on the winding roads the landscape started to change and the rocks became bigger and bigger.

We parked in the upper lot and the day was beautiful. My stomach fluttered when we entered the amphitheater, it was brilliant. I had never seen anything like it. The pictures Bobaloo showed me did not show the scale of how colossal the rocks that surrounded the seats were. I was astonished. The sunbeams reached the rocks and the different hues of red shimmered. I will never forget the heat of the sunshine on my face and the breath knocked out of me from climbing the stairs. Without delay the camera was out and I was trying to acquire the beauty of this magical place for my own recollection.

We checked out the geological exhibits and the gift shop and the rock’n’roll museum. There is a wall with a list of every performer who has played on the rocks throughout the years. I looked at the wall of entertainers in amazement and was eager to see a show there. When we left, I was revitalized and indescribably felt better about everything. Red Rocks was not a reason to move to Colorado but it certainly was something I wanted to be near.

The End of an A-Ha Era

2010-05-03T07:59:00.003-06:00

I read some troubling news on Friday. A-Ha is breaking up after one last tour. I am devastated and overcome with both grief and uncertainty. Now don’t get me wrong, I cannot name any of their songs besides “Take on me,” but I feel that song helped shape me as a person in some way.

When I was a child I was transfixed by the music video longing to live in a world where morphing into a comic book character in a world of illustration was possible. Their catchy chorus was easy enough for my youthful brain to wrap around. The happy beat infected the heart of my soul and I would dance.

As I got older, “Take on me” became, well, kind of a guilty pleasure. If I was in the car alone, I would rock out while singing the lyrics without inhibition. There's just something about the tune that gives me absolute joy. If I was amongst my friends, I might have just hummed along calmly.

These days I sing it loud and proud. I car-dance to the melody if I need to. The song is in my iPod putting a skip in my step when it comes on and I am walking home from the bus stop. I can say it goes down as one of my top ten favorite songs in pop history.

So A-Ha, as you retire to enter the next stage of your lives please know you have been in the background for every stage in mine.

Thanks.

Liquid Goodness

2010-04-28T09:21:00.000-06:00

There has been an awesome new addition to our household. A lot of our stuff is still in storage in California which makes buying things a little difficult. I don’t want to buy a bunch of stuff for the place and then have all of old belongings come back and have no room for them. This makes trips to Target a little hard on me. Target is my place of sanctuary. I can spend hours there. Anyway, back to the new addition.

As I was walking down the grocery aisles I came to the coffee section. The fragrance of coffee stirred a longing for caffeinated delight in me. I decided then and there that if I could find a coffeemaker for around ten bucks I would purchase one. I walked hurriedly to the kitchen appliances aisle and was thrilled to have found a $9.99 ChefMate coffeemaker. I quickly procured the coffeemaker and some filters and tossed it into the cart.

I promenaded proudly back to the coffee aisle and picked out a container of Folgers of the French Vanilla variety and some decaf for Bobaloo. As I checked out I could hardly contain my anticipation as the cashier scanned my items.

Once at home, I placed the coffeemaker in a hallowed corner of the counter where it could be admired from all corners of the kitchen. It was brilliant and shiny and new. I immediately half-read the instructions and started to brew my first pot of liquid goodness. I poured the russet liquid into a travel mug along with some French Vanilla creamer. I went out to the patio, lit a cigarette, and enjoyed the coffee. It was bliss.

A Found Memory From December 2008

2010-04-28T08:49:00.000-06:00

Day 1

I went to the doctor’s office before work. The appointment was early, at 7:30. When I got there, there were only three cars in the parking lot. I was hoping the doors to the building would be unlocked. I hate waiting in my car for things, I always think other people think I am lurking. I went in and took the stairs to the third floor because elevators freak me out. If it got stuck who really would come right away and get me out. What if I am trapped in there with a cannibal who needs a snack or something? The door to the waiting room was locked and there was no one in the building. I walked around hoping there weren't any security cameras. I felt like I looked suspicious. I went back downstairs and called Bobaloo. When I told him that there was no one in the building he tried to calm me down and told me that a whole building isn't going to just not show up for work. I was early and maybe, just maybe, if I waited until my appointment time there would be people in the office. After I got off of the phone I was half reassured and half still panicking. My heart rate went up and I started to cry and to add to the lunacy I started breathing deeply through my nose hoping to calm myself down before the appointment. I must have looked like a tool.

At 7:25, I trudged back up the stairs and the office was open and I was out of breath. After I checked in, I sat and admired their oddly chosen wall art. The picture of the two fingers that I think is by Michelangelo and a weird Ansel Adams tree picture. The clocked ticked away and fifteen minutes went by. How can they be late if I am the first appointment? That added to the agitation. Finally I was called in by a young nurse. Little did she know about the impending morning meltdown that would arise. Immediately after the scale, she led me into the icy room with a view of the parking lot. Once the door was closed I preceded to bawl, I am talking some serious weeping. She took my vitals and tried to calm me down, then left, the poor thing. I grabbed a Kleenex off of the doctor's desk and tried doing the deep breathing again so I wouldn't appear as an emotional and outlandish person when the doctor came in.

She came in. I have seen her a couple of times before and she seemed nice enough. I don't know why, but I have always found doctors spine-chilling. She sat on a tiny black stool too close to me. I started crying again and she touched my knees and told me everything would be fine. From there, I calmed down. Good. Breathing is good.

Solitude

2010-04-27T14:10:00.000-06:00

Thank you for all the suggestions and tips when I posted The Blog Clog. They were smart, helpful, and downright rousing. I think I have a plan for Jillie Side Up moving forward and am pretty excited about it.

How was the weekend? Bobaloo worked and I didn’t have plans so I spent a lot of time kicking it solo. Do you know what I realized lately? Kicking it solo makes me go a little crazy these days. I get a little glum and my thoughts take on a weird cycle of anxiety and trepidation. What a strange realization.

There was a time where I was content to be by myself and do my own thing. My dad used to call me his little lone wolf. I was able to listen to my tunes, read my books, do my writing, watch my television shows, and be left alone to my own devices. I would take the car for a drive by myself jamming to the radio and enjoying the sights of my travels. A walk around a lake in solitude was a great way to spend an afternoon.

Something happened somewhere down the line because now, being alone leaves me feeling well, alone. So, although it is a little late, the birthday resolution has been decided. I resolve to move forward by getting back to a place where I am content to spend some quality time with me and to do things that I enjoy without apprehension. That’s a good one, I think.

2010-04-21T09:27:00.001-06:00

I have always been on search to be more in tune with the universe, a way to live a happier and more meaningful life. I am always looking for different ways to “tune in,” like there is something out there that I am not a part of that I need to find. Transcendence, maybe? Recently I have experienced two new things to grow from.

There is a Shambhala Center in Denver that I had always wanted to check out so I recruited Bobaloo and our friend Sam to come with me. We went there for an introduction to meditation. I was excited and nervous and happy to finally have the opportunity to go. The center was very welcoming. Shoes came off before entering and we sat in a circle along with the others who were curious.

We spoke for a while of who we were and why we were there. After a break we entered a small room where we sat on cushions and were taught the beginnings of meditation. At one point the instructor said something along the lines, “let go of your thoughts in the same way as you’d pop a balloon with a feather.” That thought resonated with me and when a thought would enter my head I would visualize a feather popping a balloon. It was a great exercise and I think all three of us learned something from being there.

The second event took place a couple of nights ago. Bobaloo and I were happy hour-ing at one of favorite joints listening to music out on the patio and enjoying the beautiful weather. If you know Bobaloo, you know he chats a lot with people. He went inside to get a pitcher and ran into a gentleman putting on a drum circle that evening. The drum circle dude invited us to join them and take a listen.

We went inside to the separate space where the drum circle was being held and were met with beats from an assortment of drums. The beats were infectious and the drummers were dialed into their sound. There were a handful of dancers inside the circle whirling, thrashing, and stamping. The whole scene was without airs and genuinely a harmonious occasion.

Now I am not someone who professes to have a lot of rhythm so I would choose one drummer to focus in on and listen carefully to. I mimicked the hand motions on my lap and created my own pitter-patter of sound. Someone gave Bobaloo a tambourine to make a cadence with. We enjoyed ourselves hugely. I would like to go back on another Monday with our own noisemakers to join in on this weekly drum-fest and possibly do some dancing.

The Blog Clog

2010-04-19T08:34:00.001-06:00

So, here’s the deal. When I started this blog I planned to write two posts a week which isn’t a lofty goal, but I seem to be falling short; way short. Lately I sit at the computer and just cannot come up with anything at all. At this moment I am reevaluating my blog and trying to figure out where I want it to go and how to be a more consistent blogger. Do you have any rules for your blog? How many days a week you write and post? How do you keep your blog fresh?

Any advice from one blogger to another?

Easter, Visits, and a Birthday

2010-04-19T08:29:00.001-06:00

Boy, oh boy, my last post was St. Patrick’s Day. Bad blogger, bad.

Here’s the rundown of what has been going on lately:

Easter. Bobaloo and I dyed Easter eggs and I made a trout-shaped cake. We even blew up peeps in the microwave.

My brother and his family passed through town a week ago and I was able to spend some time with my two adorable nephews and visit with my bro and sis-in-law. We ate Jason’s Deli and sat around the apartment. It was a beautiful day.

My pops passed through town as well. He stayed for a couple of days and we had loads of fun. We went to the Buffalo Rose and listened to a small band and had beer and cocktails. By the way, my hundred days of soberness is up. Success! Bobaloo and I also took my dad up to Black Hawk where we spent some time in the casinos and ate pizza and drank beer and cocktails.

I turned twenty-seven last Tuesday. I am not quite sure how I feel about that. I looked at last year’s birthday resolution and feel pretty good about what I have accomplished this last year and where I am at today. I’m trying to think of one for this year, but nothing seems to come to mind. Perhaps I’ll skip the resolution this year because I made a New Year’s resolution instead. I don’t know.

Other than that, I seem to be at a complete loss for words and ideas lately.

Parade of Green

2010-03-17T16:17:00.008-06:00

I started a one sentence journal, an idea I got from The Happiness Project. It’s not necessarily a thankfulness journal where I remind myself to be grateful for the things in my life. Instead, I try to sum up the day or event that happened in one sentence. I started this on the fifth of March and let me tell you, if someone found this journal they would think my life is somewhat bent; but fun.

I hope to be able to look back at my sentences and remember the events, thoughts, and feelings of the day, and then the years. So far, it seems to be working. For example, my sentence last Saturday was: I don’t like parades as much as I remembered.

You see, Bobaloo and I went downtown for the St. Patrick’s Day parade. I had visions of sitting on a blanket on the curb. As a child I would catch candy, plug my ears during the marching band, and hoot and holler when my favorite floats passed by. Everything about the parade was splendid from the fancy princess waves to the mini Shriner cars.

It’s a gloomy awakening when you realize that you are not six anymore and parades just don’t do it for you anymore. The noise, the crowds, the children with kazoos all make for a frenzied display. It didn’t help that this particular parade was completely random. Seriously, everyone was in the parade. Instead of watching the whole four-hour ordeal, we tooled around Denver in green and watched the monkey business that is St. Patrick’s Day. All in all, our St. Patrick’s Day adventure was amusing and I cannot wait to go back next year.

Have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day and I’ll leave you with a blessing from the spoon-holder in our kitchen:

May your troubles be less,

And your blessing be more.

And nothing but

happiness,

Come through your door.

Bookish

2010-03-15T17:29:00.003-06:00

The summertime reminds me of books. I love to read. Everything from the feel and smell of the paper to the little black letters dotted across the page mesmerizes me. I read a lot more in the summertime than I do in the winter. I like to sit on my patio, have a cigarette, and read. My favorite summer memory is going up to the Poudre Canyon and reading on a rock by the river while Bobaloo fished.

The first book I remember reading with my mom was Big Bird Follows the Signs which was a captivating little story about Big Bird getting Prairie Dawn’s cello to her concert on time and the importance of reading signs. I remember how my mom’s voice sounded when we came to a sign in the book. She would annunciate and heighten the word, STOP! GO! THIS WAY! or whatever the signs happened to say. Sometimes she would make hand motions to add a little pizzazz to the story.

My dad was never a big reader, but I remember him sitting down to read me Ramona and Her Father. We sat on the couch and took turns reading the pages in the oh-so-grown-up chapter book. Do you remember Ramona Quimby? I loved her and the overconfidence she radiated. I secretly wished I could be that bold.

I lived next to three girls around the same age as me growing up and their dad Steve would take us to the library every once in a while. For my birthday they even gave me a library bag. I would always check out more books than I could possible read by the due date. I was afraid I would run out of books and always wanted to save the best ones for last.

In high school I would skip school to drive to the library and read what I felt like reading. T.S. Eliot, Edith Wharton, and Daniel Quinn filled my brain. I wanted to be a poet. I wanted to eat, sleep, and breathe books. Then at some point, I got a life.

These days I read when I can, when the spirit moves me to. I have a list of classic literature I am working on reading before I die. I cannot wait for long summer days to read while Bobaloo fishes or to lie in the sun and finish up a novel over a weekend.

With the approaching warm weather, I could use some good suggestions. What are you reading?

Weekends

2010-03-11T18:36:00.001-07:00

I started my new job and so far it’s going great. The best part of it is getting done at 3:30 during the week and having weekends off. I had almost forgotten what that was like to have precious weekends and I have been filling them up with all sorts of fantastic things from alpacas to a frozen dead guy.

The first weekend off included a trip up to Boulder. Bobaloo and I toured the Celestial Seasonings factory and learned about tea. They had a peppermint tea room that was incredible. With one draw of breath my sinuses cleared and my eyes became teary. The day was followed by some poking around in Tables and Teacups one of my favorite antique stores. We didn’t find any treasures but we sure built up an appetite. After antiquing, we headed to the Pearl Street Mall for some grub and ended up at this wonderful Mediterranean restaurant where we feasted on tapas, cheese ravioli, and lamb shank for Bobaloo. The day ended with the beautiful ride back to Golden.

The Olympics, grocery shopping, movies, and staying warm in the apartment took up a couple of weekends. But it was great to hang around the apartment and not have to worry about getting out of bed early or showering. I have a general rule of only needing to shower once and throwing a hat on the rest of the weekend. Lazy days can go by so quickly, I blink and am back to work on Monday.

One weekend, Bobaloo worked on Sunday so we packed in all of our fun on Saturday. We started at an alpaca extravaganza at the Boulder fairgrounds. Can you believe it? It was an entire extravaganza just for alpacas. We made our way in from the muddy parking lot and checked out the unassuming and dreamy animals. Now, I would like an alpaca farm. After we had enough of the alpacas we headed to a restaurant called The Gondolier. Garlic knots, mushrooms, a caprese sandwich, pasta, and dessert filled us up and we were ready to return home. We topped off the evening on the couch with a movie.

Last weekend took the cake! We went to our first Frozen Dead Guy Days up in Nederland, CO. It is a whole festival dedicated to a dead guy that is frozen in a Tuff Shed until he can come back to life. Crazy Norwegians! We checked out the hearse parade and the polar plunge. Brrr.. There was food and drink galore and a lot of people. The sun was shining and people were having fun which made me eager for summer.

How much fun can I pack in to two days? Apparently quite a bit. I am looking forward to this weekend to see what’s in store.

6 Lessons of Sobriety

2010-03-11T17:05:00.001-07:00

If you made a certain resolution to quit certain beverages for a 100 days, you are on day 70. Just to let you know. 30 days left? Piece of cake!

It’s been a strange 70 days since I stopped with the boozing. My ears still ring at 5 o’clock on Friday. Every once in a while I have a hankering for a cold beer or a rum and coke. The cravings have subsided greatly from the first couple of weeks. The first two weeks were the most difficult. It was bizarre to order non-alcoholic beers at happy hour and keep drinking and drinking and never catch a buzz. Lesson 1; Coca-Cola gives you more of a buzz then non-alcoholic beer. There is a bar in town that serves Coors NA and that is my drink of choice these days. Lesson 2, non-alcoholic beer is a sipping drink; all it does is make you need to pee.

The strange part about going to the bar sober is having in the past had buzzed conversations with people you now have no idea who they are or what you were babbling about. Lesson 3; sober conversations are more memorable but not nearly as exciting. I have also noticed people are curious why I am not drinking, when I tell them it’s a new year’s resolution they seem disappointed. It has taken bar patrons a little more time than usual to warm up to me and to start chatting. Lesson 4; making up a more interesting reason for my sobriety might lead to more friends.

Driving home after spending a few sober hours at the bar is quite the experience. Driving without paranoia and how quick the ride goes is amazing. Lesson 5; getting home sober is good. It is odd to have a kiddy cocktail (Shirley Temple) nightcap instead of a couple of beers to top off the night. I don’t wake up tired and go to work hung-over. Lesson 6; moderation would be a good virtue to permanently have.

The strangest thing about my sobriety is that I am always hungry, and hungry for sweets. I am generally not a sweet tooth but these days give me chocolates, give me cake, give me ice cream and I will down it. I thought quitting drinking would lead to me dropping a couple of pounds, but instead I think I’ve gained a couple. Lesson 6; weight gained is well worth it, yum.

Flinching

2010-02-28T10:11:00.002-07:00

I dropped out of college after one week. I was in Fargo which was a telltale factor, and my resident advisor tried to save me. We had a “divine appointment with God.” I can chalk the whole experience up now as too much, too fast, too soon. Back in those days I wanted change so much, but flinched when it actually came to pass.

When I told my dad of my plans to drop out he understood and said something along the lines of, I know what it’s like to be somewhere you don’t want to be. He picked me up from Fargo and the ride back to Minneapolis was the longest (and quietest) I have ever experienced. We even stopped and ate Chinese food. During lunch, there were no lectures, no evil looks, and most importantly, no questions. As long as I wasn’t running away from something, I was able to go home.

But what was I running to? At the time, the last place I wanted to be after North Dakota was at home with my parents; I wanted out of the suburbs. I think I wanted to find myself, but that September instead of books and pencils, I got a job assembling cables for a neighbor. As the months grew colder I slid into desolation and despondency. I thought my life was tragic and I extracted myself from the world I thought I would live in.

I became a townie. I had two friends who stayed in town after graduation and the three of us would go to Denny’s every Tuesday and then catch some TV and play cards. My weekends were spent going back and forth to visit a good friend away at college. I lived in the suburbs; I made friends in the suburbs, partied in the suburbs, and lost myself in the suburbs. I hung out in Wal-Mart parking lots and went to the city to cruise. I went to bonfires, house parties, and the refinery to watch it twinkle like Emerald City. Somewhere along the way I even got banned from a country line dancing bar.

These days I don’t regret not getting a traditional education. Sure, dorm life would have been a hoot and I would have my diploma on a mantel somewhere near a cap’n’gown picture with my parents. A year and a half doing cable assemblies does teach you the importance of education. As a grown-up I take community college classes when I can and hope to get a four year degree by age thirty.

It’s hard to put my finger on what I learned from coming of age in the suburbs. It know it wasn’t street smarts or anything. I guess there were a few lessons. Sometimes you need your family when you don’t want to. Sometimes unlikely friends will become best friends before you know it. Sometimes you can fight to get out of the city you grew up in and come to miss it when you leave.

Casino Land Farewell

2010-02-15T15:04:00.001-07:00

A casualty of the casino. Cushioned chairs and cigarette machines. Endless stairways, a bird roosting at the railing. The inhale of dreggy popcorn. A blue shirt, polyester pants, and a name tag. Candles competing for consideration, hot players, and hasty money. Bellowing Blazing Sevens and jaunty jackpots. Abandoned beer bottles and wanting wine glasses. Swirling carpets and the static of slots.

A hasty farewell. You’ll do well wherever you go. It’ll suck with out you. We’ll miss ya. Take care, kiddo. Cake, a card, and cherry Prime Time cigars.

Tanya and Violet; A Reflection on an Old Friendship

2010-01-27T12:36:00.002-07:00

So, I’ll start the story this way. Let me paint a picture for you to get you caught up. There’s the tall, skinny blonde-turned-black-turned red haired girl who is very quiet, but pretty funny. She usually just went with the flow. For the sake of anonymity we’ll call her Violet, although her hair was never purple through the changes. She was the counterpart of a more amazing creature, so she thought anyway. Tanya. Tanya was curvaceous and her hair matched her personality, the way it was wild and out there. Tanya was the only one who could control her hair. Tanya was the only one who could be in control of life.

They became such unlikely friends, but when they both decided to invest in the friendship they were everything to each other. Tanya would push Violet, and in return Violet would reign in Tanya. It was only at this time in their lives that they were symbiotic. They could feel each other’s happiness, sadness, guilt, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Before and after their summer together it would never be the same. They could never love each other as much as they did that summer.

They used to joke around a lot. When you’re nineteen the world is resistant and they figured they might as well enjoy everything. They would bring their own liquor to Denny’s, they would party on a college campus, they would drive, and drive, and drive. Listening to CDs.

They had each other’s back knowing that life wasn’t going to have their back. They laughed both at and with each other.

They made bags for a flask to fit into.

They made fun of each other for one another’s shortcomings in love.

Perhaps what you need to understand about the two of them is where one lacked in sensitivity the other lacked in boldness. It made their friendship good. They complimented each other. Personality wise. They always told each other how great they were. They were unstoppable.

Exciting News Part Two

2010-01-25T14:09:00.003-07:00

So here it is!

I got a new job! Hooray! Yippee!

I forgot that this might not be too exciting to you because this is the fourth new job I've had since the inception of this blog. Oh well. Don't rain on my parade.

So, the job is perfect. No nights, no weekends, no icky one-hour bus rides.

Golden in the Winter

2010-01-21T13:49:00.004-07:00

This is the town I live in.

The creek where Bobaloo and I have coffee.

The mountain.

The Coors Brewery. Nothing like the smell of hops early in the morning.

There's even chickens.

All sorts of statues.

This statue outside of the bar, drunk people like to ride the buffalo.

The watering hole.

I hope you enjoyed the tour, please visit again.

The Happy Award

2010-01-21T13:19:00.005-07:00

I received the Happy Award from Jill over at Life After College. I have recently started to read Jill's blog and love it. She writes about all sorts of things and I love her creative style. So, thanks Jill!

10 Things That Make Me Happy:

Caffeinated outbursts
Bobaloo
The band Vetiver
Cacti
Christmas cards
Phone calls from old friends
Coffee and walks in Golden
Floating in the pool
Sega Genesis
Summertime gold panning

Blogs that make me happy:

Sam's A Place I Call My Own

Amanda's The Blog Jar

Lizzi's Life According to Lizzi

Crystal's This is Only Going to Hurt for a Minute

And

Baking With Plath which is on hiatus, and I am hoping will return soon.

The Bus Ride

2010-01-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Coughing, wiping, sneezing, scratching. Gum chewing, cell phone talking, eating, and drinking. Snot, vomit, smiles, frowns, bitching. Chatting, napping, and wheezing. Disgusting and peaceful. Playing, drunk, and eating. Awake and working. Excitability and trudging along. Reclining, leaning, snoring, headphones, and upright.

New Stuff

2010-01-15T12:35:00.001-07:00

Some very exciting stuff is on the horizon. I just can't tell you yet!

Resolutions

2010-01-07T11:21:00.006-07:00

Happy New Year!

I’m a little late, but so be it. Did you make any resolutions this year? I usually do not, but this year I decided to quit booze for one hundred days. Yikes!

Do you know what one hundred days looks like?

I made a paper chain and every day I cut off a link.

Wish me luck!

I wish you and yours a blissful and blooming new year, and good luck with those pesky resolutions!

She

2009-12-28T13:47:00.002-07:00

I have written a couple posts here about my pops, it occurred to me the other day I never told you about my mom.

She’s the kind of lady who will fly her daughter home for Christmas because of homesickness and faraway sickness.

She is the quiet strong.

The backbone of the family.

She will dance with you in the kitchen when your five.

She’ll sing along to wee sing silly songs on your way to daycare. She has a sweet quiet singing voice.

She comforts you when life deals it's cards.

She laughs loud and often.

She fed, dressed, did homework, and played with us kids while working full time.

She is the kind of mom who let her kids spend a couple hours at Toys’R’US and pick out one toy at the end of the trip.

She’s patient, never loosing her cool.

Her hugs are warm.

She can throw-down in foosball.

She has raised three teenagers with humor.

She is a great daughter, a fantastic grandmother.

She can cook anything, always prepared to entertain a houseful.

She has taught me independence and patience.

Some women worry about turning into their mothers as they get older. If I turn out to be half the woman my mom is I will be happy.

I wish my doorstep was closer to hers.

A Homemade Christmas

2009-12-17T13:39:00.003-07:00

All of our Christmas decorations are in a storage unit in California this year. After work one day, Bobaloo found some fun shiny stuff that the AT&T store threw away. Knowing my propensity for shiny stuff, he put it in the Groovaru and brought it on home.

This is the stuff Christmas trees are made of..

"Tis The Season

2009-12-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

It has been a while. I’ll use the excuse that my fingers were too cold to type.

The cold snap has put a damper on my disposition

and Christmas can be such an imposition.

In eight days I go to see my family. Everyone, including my brother who I haven’t seen in two years and a nephew I haven’t met. This makes me very happy.

In eight days I get to see all of my best friends, and my best friends’ spouses, and my best friends’ children. This makes me very happy.

I work on Christmas. I am happy to work on Christmas.

I work on New Year’s. I am unhappy to work on New Year’s.

Gobble Gobble

2009-11-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

Has everyone recovered from Thanksgiving? Good.

I have been living 928 miles from my family for the last four years now. It is hard to be away from the pandemonium that is the holidays with them. Amidst a little homesickness, Bobaloo and I have been starting our own traditions. I am usually not a huge fan of the holidays, but now that I get to do them my own way I look forward to them more and more.

When we first moved out to Colorado we would do traditional Thanksgiving feasts. This year we had our second annual buffet at the Table Mountain Inn. No cooking, no dishes, no drama. I ate my weight in vegetables, Bobaloo ate his fair share of turkey and we were happy and full. I napped, he watched football. All in all, Thanksgiving was a success!

Ugly Sweater You're The One

2009-11-24T12:52:00.002-07:00

I went thrift store shopping last week and found a find that I couldn't pass up. Originally this treasure was $2.89, but I was lucky enough to get it half off.

This little number will go great sitting on the patio while reading.

Honest Scrap

2009-11-22T11:22:00.006-07:00

Scrap means left over, fragments, discarded material. Many times truth and honesty are discarded material, considered fragments and left over. People like us need to tell it like it is, and let the scraps fall where they will.

I received the Honest Scrap Award from Sam at A Place I Call My Own. So, thanks Sam! The rules of the award are as follows:

Thank the person who gave the award and list their blog and link it.
Share "10 Honest Things" about yourself.
Present this award to 7 others who blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
Tell those 7 people they've been awarded Honest Scrap and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

10 Honest Things

I love languages (especially Spanish and French). I would love to go to school for linguistics.
I used to be afraid of snakes and just learned how to hold one where I volunteer. Eek.
If I won the lottery I would take a year with a pop-up camper and travel to all fifty states, saving Hawaii for last.
I feel better when I read.
I miss living close to my family but secretly I enjoy being far away.
I would love to write short stories for a living.
Summer is my favorite season. All of the clothes in the winter make me claustrophobic.
I'd rather eat pretzels than a chocolate bar.
If I could live anywhere for a year I would move to France.
I am not a cook. Restaurant reservations have been made for Thanksgiving!

I hereby officially nominate the following seven folks for the Honest Scrap Award!

Deidre at Decoybetty. I love to read about Deidre's adventures in Australia, especially when there are dudes involved!
Lolly at Enchantingly Ludicrous. Lolly is the only blogger-friend I have met in real life and I recall she kicks ass at darts. I enjoy reading about Lolly's balance of motherhood, school, and fun.
San Diego Writer Girl at Lisa Wants the Floor. Lisa has a beautiful style of writing and has been great encouragement.
A.B. at The A-List. A.B. is funny when she's bitter, and she runs a lot!
The Maiden Metallurgist at The Maiden Metallurgist. I love to read about the Maiden's adventures in Chicago and she always posts the best pictures. She has also taught me how to spell "metallurgist."
Jacob at Busy Busy Busy. It is fun to read about Jacob's transition into the "real world." He is funny and articulates beautifully the struggle of early mornings, coworker fridges, and office etiquette.
Lora at Fever. Lora is one of the first blogs I followed. She is brilliant and encouraging.

Orange Push-up Dreams

2009-11-18T11:23:00.001-07:00

I was born during a blizzard in April. My grandfather gave me an American flag and told my parents that I had nice ears. I was olive-colored with black hair. My mother couldn’t believe that I was hers.

I remember living in the old house. I remember bathing in the sink and how tall my older brother was. I remember the green front steps with a wrought iron rail. I remember the hail storm and crying when my dad went out to take a picture. I remember the cartoons on the television set.

When we moved, my brother and I ran up and down and back and forth on the ramp of the moving truck. It was August and hot. The new blue house. The neighbors came over and one of the girls was pretending to be a monkey. She would turn out to be my best friend. We would sit in lawn chairs under the sprinkler and hold up umbrellas and eat orange push-ups.

Early memories are a blur, but they are there. I try to recall my first memories when I have trouble sleeping. Sometimes I dream about those days.

Jill in Real Life

2009-11-12T14:01:00.001-07:00

Blogs are fun. I have “met” a few interesting and fun people through my blog. Lora puts it nicely over at Fever; people I blog with.

Sometimes it’s hard to come across the same way in my blog as I do in real life. Here are some real life facts about me.

I embarrass easy and my face turns red.

I have weird personal space issues with strangers

I have a quiet laugh

I am goofier in person

I get louder, the more I drink

Once I get going, I am a chatterbox

I love music, like, really love it. Symbiotic stuff.

I know a lot about weird things.

I love foreign languages. Especially Spanish and French. I can read and write a little, but suck at speaking.

I am good at dispensing advice, however, not so great at taking it.

I come across as more patient than I actually am.

I also come across nicer than I probably really am. :)

I’ve met most of my good friends on cigarette breaks or at the bar.

If I had your address, I’d send you a Christmas card.

I get bored easily.

I make lists when I am out of blog inspiration. Hopefully, it will come back soon.

Halloween

2009-10-31T14:50:00.001-06:00

Happy Halloween!

Fall Stuff

2009-10-22T11:06:00.000-06:00

October is hands-down my favorite month of the year. Lately, my days have been full.

Filled with three carved pumpkins, three more waiting for faces. iTunes playlists to blast at home and cds to groove to while on the road. My days have been filled with medicine or supplements, rather. Good food like hot-dish, soup, and frozen pizza. Dinosaurs. T-Rex and the like. Slot machines and dirty money. Warm blankets and snow. Cold beer. Hot Honey bush tea. Mountains. Mountain tunnels. Anxiety. Love. Phone calls home. New friends. Lou Reed. Birthday cards I have forgotten to send out. Failed yoga. Flo’s diner dash. My days have been filled with visits to Hobby Lobby. Therapy. Funky, colorful dreams I could take a bite out of. Long hair. Halloween costumes. Novels. A bicycle in the living room. A new couch and an old coffee table. Berlin. The broken Taurus that has gotten me so far. Good sleep. Fall-scented candles. Slice and bake cookies.

I cannot wait to see what November brings!

Old Souls and Free Spirits

2009-10-08T12:10:00.001-06:00

It takes me 45 minutes to get to and from work these days. I don’t mind most of the time because I like to sing with the car radio and the views are pretty. It’s nice to have that time to myself to think about everything or nothing, however the canyon road moves me.

When I was growing up my dad cleaned on Sunday mornings. To make the task go by faster he would play his far out records. Records my mom came to refer to as his “boing-boing” music because of the wild melodies and the raucous resonance. The record player console was in the dining room where the sun caught the glass from the patio.

Once in a while, the old man would bestow upon me the great responsibility of choosing the cleaning music. Picking out a record is the first recollection music I have. When it was my turn to choosethe music, without fail, I would carefully slide the enthralling LP out of a box. I always found the record with children like me on the cover and was delighted. It was the first piece of art I thought was truly beautiful, even then. I was haunted by the sea-children climbing on rocks for many years. Much later, I realized the album was Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy.

My job was to dust with Windex, and I carefully sprayed every surface more than liberally and loved the smell always taking great care to get every spot on the coffee table. It was a special treat when my mother would have me dust all of her fragile pieces in the china cabinet. The sun would gleam on the clean glass and it made me happy. My dad loved the album. As he cleaned, he probably thought about everything or nothing, however the record moved him.

About three years later, I tagged along with my dad to the car wash to help him wash the Ford Econoline before we headed East for Christmas vacation. I was probably eight when we took this small voyage. I was always his little tag-along kid on these small errands. “Crimson and Clover” by Tommy James and Shondells started to play on the oldies station. We sang along and after the song was over, my dad told me about how innovative that song was in it’s time. I didn’t really know what he was talking about, but I felt important because he always spoke to me like I was a grown-up.

As we drove home from the car wash, we listened to more oldies and were happy. I was eight and my young mind was thinking about everything of nothing. When Christmas season comes around, I always throw “Crimson and Clover” into the music mix with all of the Christmas carols.

I grew fast, as kids do. I lived with my parents when I was nineteen and unfortunately, did not have many friends with the same music taste. When the Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young tour came to St. Paul, Minnesota, I had no friends volunteering to check out the show with me. My dad bought us tickets and it was the first time the two of us went to a concert together.

The show was stunning. I was so happy. That night we spoke about everything and nothing, however Neil Young moved us. I still have the ticket stub in a box of mementos.

My dad and I have always had music in common. There were teenage years when it was hard to relate to one another and it seemed the space between what we thought and knew was a million miles. More years have passed and now I am in my twenties, and he is in his fifties. The miles are now space and distance between our doorsteps. He came to visit this last week and it is not too hard to catch up these days. All we need to do is throw a CD into the boom box and visit at the house, put a quarter into the jukebox while sitting on a barstool, or listen to the radio on a car trip and the time and distance doesn’t seem to matter anymore. We still talk about everything and nothing and in these conversations we are happy.

Bobaloo, this one goes out to you...

2009-10-05T14:52:00.007-06:00

Yesterday marked my one year wedding anniversary with my husband. I am generally not very good with the mushy-gushy and to be honest I felt a lot of relief yesterday, as in yay! we did it. With almost seven years of togetherness under our belts, this last year has certainly been the most strange and the most wonderful.

We have seen each other through job changes and encouraged one another to be better. A gigantic move there, a gigantic move back and the long stretches of road in between. Broken cars, broken hearts, life, death, and what goes on in between. We watched our patio garden go from brown and lifeless to beautiful and fruitful. We have seen one another drunk and happy and sober and sad and dealt with everything life had for us in between. We have stuck together for the amazing and the ugly of this last year and the normal in between.

We were married in a little mountain ceremony in Boulder. It was everything I could ask for in that it was outside, not fancy, and “us.” My little brother did a reading we picked out and I think it still holds true:

"An anonymous text from the Tradition says that, in life, each person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant. The builders might take years over their tasks, but one day, they finish what they’re doing. Then they find they’re hemmed in by their own walls. Life loses its meaning when the building stops.

Then there are those who plant. They endure storms and all the many vicissitudes of the seasons, and they rarely rest. But, unlike a building, a garden never stops growing. And while it requires the gardener’s constant attention, it allows life for the gardener to be a great adventure.

Gardeners always recognize one another, because they know in the history of each plant lies the growth of the whole world."

-Paulo Coelho (Brida)

Monday, Monday

2009-08-24T12:52:00.002-06:00

I love Mondays these days. Mondays are now my "Fridays." Needless to say, I am a very happy camper today.

I am happy to see the summer come to an end. I am looking forward to fall even though I have to take the semester off from school. Maybe I'll sign up for guitar lessons or something. I like the feeling of being expected to show up somewhere once a week.

Any ideas for a new hobby to take up for the next five months?

The Most Wonderful Grandma of All

2009-08-04T20:17:00.000-06:00

When I was young I was terrified of my dad’s mother, Grandma J. From very early on I found her to be loud, critical, and brash. I remember packing my Wuzzles bag for holiday trips to Eau Claire, Wisconsin and when I found out we were headed to her house I would howl and cry because I always wanted to visit my Grandma Cille first.

The apprehension for these visits didn’t die down until I was in my late teens. My brothers and I would sleep in her living room, the two of them on the floor in sleeping bags and me on the couch. When my older brother and I were teenagers we had mastered the art of sleeping in and had every intention of doing so while spending Christmas vacation at Grandma’s. Every year, without fail, Grandma J. would turn the oldies station on early in the morning blaring Christmas carols that stopped the sugar plums and fairies in our dreams dead in their tracks. These holiday carols would be after a night of hearing her wind-up clock every hour on the hour and the fuzz of her police radio coming from the hallway.

Everytime we went to see her I was asked, “Are you still one of those vegetarians? You must not get enought iron.” or told, “With your eye makeup like that, you look like one of those burlesque girls.” That’s my favorite Grandma J.-ism. Years later, I now take it as a compliment.

Things changed when I was seventeen. I had to do a school project that involved interviewing an elder for a oral storytelling project. My dad pulled me out of school and we drove an hour and a half to go see her. In all of my growing up, I had never once wondered why she was the way was or what made her tick. That day I found out what she was made of, and came to appreciate how strong she had to be and hoped that a lot of her genes were passed to me.

When I graduated from high school I found myself taking little roadtrips to go see her here and there. I’d pick her up and we’d go to the buffet for lunch and she would introduce me to her friends and seem so proud to show her grandkid off. I miss having lunch with her, I hate that I am so far away.

I spoke with her on the telephone today and it was so good to hear her little voice. These days, she seems more gentle and soft spoken. I don’t think it’s the age, I think it’s because she knows me now. Grandma J. keeps me posted on the family, recites Norwegian words from her youth to me, and speaks honestly about how hard it is to grow old and lose the people you love.

Some days while at work, the church plays the same song as her wind-up clock. Immediately my brain goes back to her house. I think of the way the flowered tin of crayons smelled, how there were always fig neutons in the cookie jar, and her perfume bottles and lipstick in the bathroom.

Every year that passes she makes it a point to warn me that it will probably be her last year on this Earth. I know better though, she’s tough as nails. I think it’s her way of preparing me for life without her, which makes her the most wonderful grandma of all.

Egg Salad

2009-08-01T15:19:00.005-06:00

My "weekend" now falls on Tuesday and Wednesday so there's not always a whole lot going on. I have turned to Netflix and have been enjoying a bunch of Audrey Tatau movies. Somehow I don't feel like I am being lazy if I am watching a movie in a different language.

Also, I have been watching the first season of "Man v. Food." I want this dude's job. Today, while wolfing down a Jimmy John's sub I got to thinking...

If you entered a food-eating contest where you won by out-eating a competitor in an hour, what kind of food would you make you a champion?

I'd probably go with egg salad. Not necessarily because I like it, I just think I could eat a ton of it without getting sick.

Weird. Somehow writing this post has led me to Wiki Brain Salad Surgery. Interesting stuff.

Hello Again

2009-07-21T18:36:00.005-06:00

Hello Again. Remember that Shelly Long movie? I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. Weird. Anyway, I am glad to be back and during my little break I have been enjoying the summer blogging of others. Anyway, let me get you up to speed.

Where to start? The last couple of months have been full of a lot of great, some good, and a little bad. After the move back from California, I have been focusing my energy on getting my Colorado life back on track. It's strange, I am still unable to look at the whole "California" experience objectionably and figure out the why? of it all. I am still unsure what to think of the whole thing, but for now I am doing what a wise dude suggested and am not looking back; moving forward. Easier said than done sometimes, right?

I have never considered myself to be lucky in a good fortune kind of way, however, somehow we were able to get back here safe and sound and get our apartment back and find jobs quickly. In between getting back and my new job I was able to take a nine-day trip to visit my folks and friends in Minnesota and it was good. My parents are wholly amazing and they mended my spirit, always seeing my life from a different panorama than I do.

The job I have now is wonderful, it's exactly what I wanted from employment. I get to walk around, chat with people, fix things, break things, and make people smile. It's up in the hills where I have to drive through three mountain tunnels to get there, which makes me a little nervous, but it's beautiful.

After a couple of weeks of working there, I had a mentor-in-training say, "If you want to walk around in circles for the next three years and wait for a lightbulb to go off, you can by all means do that here." Seriously, on some days that's my job description. Holy buckets! My entire adult life I've been walking in circles waiting for a lightbulb to go off, and now I get paid to do that? Life is hilarious. And if there's a god, he/she's a regular barrel of laughs too!

Well, I'll be back to regular posts now. It's good to see you, my friends.

Hiatus

2009-05-25T19:59:00.002-06:00

I need to take a break from the blog for a while.

Unemployment is the new Staycation

2009-05-11T15:28:00.000-06:00

Unemployment is weird. It’s been many years since I haven’t had a job and if I wasn’t so sure I am going to get a positive callback later this week, I would be a little more freaked about the situation.

Last week was very bizarre and I didn’t quite know what to do with myself during the days. I was very happy to get two calls about possible jobs. One interview did not happen at all and I went to the second one on Friday. The interview went well and I expect to hear back this week about a job that starts on the First of June. In the meantime, I am still sending resumes out because, you never know.

The weekend was great. I was able to meet up with some really good friends who I missed during my time in California. Bobaloo and I went down to the Buffalo Rose on Saturday to listen to a band and meet up with friends. There were all sorts of folks (of the biker variety) that we haven’t seen since before the winter. It was like everyone came out of hibernation.

Yesterday was a lazy day, but amidst the movie-watching and lounging I was able to finish a good book (for the first time in months) and get together a plan on what to do on a day to day basis until I find a job.

Today, kicked off a new start for me. I started another book, went for a jog, did some chores, sent some resumes, watered the plants, sat outside, and even watched some Tyra. Her show sucks.

Here’s to a well-rounded day without a dime spent!

Home Again, Home Again

2009-05-07T09:32:00.013-06:00

I am back to Colorado and boy, is it weird. I returned last Friday and for a few days everything was a whirlwind that has finally settled down a bit. After a lot of packing and unpacking I finally found my camera cable, so here are some pictures.

The groovaru.

Sometimes you need to know when to follow.

The check engine light came on two states too soon.

On the road again...

Home.

Greetings from Las Vegas...

2009-04-30T22:19:00.002-06:00

Las Vegas, New Mexico that is. Yeah, it's about as exciting as it sounds. I am pretty sure if I was in the other one in Nevada I would not be blogging. I have not been to the one in Nevada yet, but I am pretty sure it's a little more happening. Bobaloo and I packed all of our stuff up yesterday and put all of our necessities in the U-Haul and everything else in storage. We were able to get on the road and make it to Phoenix last night. To get out of the state of California we had to go through some mountains which was terrifying because the brakes in my car are not up to snuff. There was a nasty accident too that freaked me out. It's extremely strange to be driving in California and Arizona. There are border patrol agents everywhere. When I was driving to California a couple of months ago I had to stop four or five times at checkpoints. Last night we only had to stop once. Border Patrol agents assholes. And while I am a fan of dogs, I don't appreciate their scary dogs sniffing my car. We made it to Phoenix and stayed in a hotel. Today we finished driving through Arizona and were making our way through New Mexico when we decided to stop for the night. So, we are enjoying the luxuries of cable television and continental breakfast. I love cable and I love breakfast. A lot. By this time tomorrow, I will be in my own bed at home. I am pretty excited about that. This trip has certainly been interesting. You wouldn't believe all of the things you can buy from the side of the road in Arizona and New Mexico. That's another post entirely. Well, that's all. Good night.

The Weekend Happenings.

2009-04-27T10:00:00.002-06:00

Well, this past weekend is my last one in San Diego. It was filled with all sorts of fun and adventure and unfortunately, not a whole lot of packing. On Friday, we hung out at a friendly bar called the Aero-Club which has been our regular hangout while being here. There are always some interesting characters in there so it was nice to yuk it up and stay up too late.

Saturday was a lazy day from staying up way too late. Amongst all of the laying around and doing nothing I managed to muster up the fortitude to reactivate my Netflix account so I could fully bask in being a bum. After an Ed O’Neill (Al Bundy) movie and Chinese food, I was out.

Yesterday was fun. Bobaloo and I headed up to Carlsbad to have a delicious brunch with my sister-in-law and nephew. I am sad to be moving away from them. I have really enjoyed getting to spend so much time with them while out here. No trip to Carlsbad would be complete without a trip to Dini’s By the Sea. So, we headed there and had a few cocktails and enjoyed the sunshine. After that we went home for some more Netflix fun.

I have two days left of work. Two days! We have a few days to get all of our stuff packed and ready to go and by this weekend we will be back in Colorado. I cannot believe it.

Hope you had a great weekend!

Just Ducky

2009-04-24T14:25:00.002-06:00

So if you are bored this weekend and have stumbled upon Jillie Side Up, you have found me at a funky fork in my life. Do you know what I enjoy about being a grownup? That we all are in various stages of having our ducks in a row.

There is the type of grownup who from an early age had life pretty well figured out. They dreamed their dream and went and got it. Those people’s ducks are fully aligned. I have a couple of best friends who are this type of grownup and I am always amazed at their tenacity and discipline.

There is the type of grownup whose ducks are all there, kind of in formation, and for the most part swimming with some direction. They made it from point A to point B, but not by the means of a straight line but rather a curvy path. I have friends who are of this variety too. What I admire about them is their ability to get to point B while having some fun and doing cool shit on the way.

Then, there is the grownup like me. I have ducks. And they’re really awesome ducks, but kind of rebellious and can never seem to get in a row. I am eleven days late in making my birthday resolution for this year, so here it goes. This year is the year I reign in my ducks and tell them what’s what and where we are going. If all goes well, next April 13th, we will be having a duck-themed birthday party and will be celebrating how pretty my little row of ducks is.

Slapdash San Diego Thoughts (in no particular order)

2009-04-24T11:33:00.001-06:00

My time in San Diego is winding down. I am excited to be all packed up and to leave. I am not excited however, to actually do the packing or drive twenty-one hours. It’s strange how mobile I consider myself in my head; in reality I have a lot of stuff. I can’t help it, I am sentimental and it is easily to acquire a menagerie of furniture, books, photo albums, and clothes. Stuff. It’s weird how much I enjoy my possessions. Not that it is treasure from Pier One Imports or anything fancy like that. When I first came out here, besides my husband, the thing I missed the most about Colorado was my couch. I loved that sucker.

I am happy we were able to check out some stuff while living here. In some ways it has been like a weird two month vacation except I go to work.

Do you know what I find most fascinating about San Diego? No matter where you stand in the city, there are dozens of frozen yogurt shops in a two-mile radius. As a fan of frozen yogurt, that is amazing. That shit doesn’t happen in the Midwest or in Colorado. Sure you have your Dairy Queen, Coldstone Creamery, and whatnot but it just isn’t the same. I am really going to miss that.

I enjoy missing things; it means there was some joy or love worth checking out and worth being missed. I am glad that I am going to miss San Diego a little bit. Not just the frozen yogurt, the Trader Joe’s, or Ikea. The hustle and bustle of the city is great. Although there is a little more bustle for my taste than there is hustle, the general vibe is awesome. I am a fan of cities that have great public transportation and SD is awesome, trains, trolleys, busses galore plus most areas are pretty pedestrian-friendly. Yield for the peds, man.

Happy Day, Earth

2009-04-22T11:40:00.003-06:00

I am generally a fan of holidays where it is expected of me to have cocktails. Christmas? Celebrate the birth with some egg nog. Easter? Celebrate the rising with some wine. Fourth of July? Have a few cold ones and watch the fireworks. St. Patrick’s Day? Self-explanatory. Earth Day? Why not?

It is great that we have a day dedicated to pondering where we need to make changes for a better world. This past year has found me eating more locally, using reusable shopping bags, and cutting back on consumption with limited trips to Target.

Where I could use more green in my life in my intake of beverages. Wine, beer, rum, and Coca-Cola all come in glass or aluminum and make for much to be recycled in our household. When we lived in Boulder, on occasion we would get mead from Redstone Meadery and drink like Vikings. They sell their mead in reusable and fashionable blue bottles. When you returned with your bottle they would refill it at a discount price. What an idea! I love it!

I think I am going to look for some other useful ideas when it comes to cans and bottles. I am already planning a Heineken Christmas tree this year out of bottles. Also, the internet is amazing. Look what else you can make. I think I am going to try the beer chandelier and the radio for the lounge.

Here is an interesting article on the topic of beer bottle vs. can. Which is better for the environment?

Can you think of more eco-friendly ways of getting your drink on?

Mussels, Mollusks, and Movies

2009-04-21T10:20:00.004-06:00

I have not been feeling very creative as of late. My thoughts have been a gumbo of mumbo jumbo recently. Having life be absolute disarray might have something do with it. I have been doing a lot of reading though, sometimes it’s nice to sit back and read about the drama in other people’s lives.

I leave San Diego at the end of the month and am very excited to be going back home. This little adventure hasn’t been a total loss though, we’ve missed three blizzards in Denver and the pool at our apartment complex will open up at the end of May.

My husband brought up the idea that we’re pool kind of people. Not ocean people, not lake people, on occasion river people, but for the most part pool people. It’s totally true. I am not quite sure what to make of that information. I prefer to be a big fish in a small chlorinated pool? I guess if I am wearing my shiny swimsuit, I look more like a mermaid or a shiny mussel shell. So I guess I am a shiny mollusk in a chlorinated pool. Hmmm... Anyway, I am looking forward to the summer and getting all of our pool toys out and enjoying the sunshine.

I have been enjoying my time out here a lot more. Now that I know we’re going home it is easier to be worry-free. I have given my two week notice already, and have never been so happy to leave a job in my life. Seriously, it’s that bad. Last weekend we went out to dinner and a movie which was fun. We go to the movies once a year, so it’s a big deal. We also took a drive up the coast stopping at a fun little bar called, Dini’s By the Sea in Carlsbad where we drank cool drinks in the sunshine on the patio and met some interesting people.

Two Weeks Notice

2009-04-16T11:53:00.000-06:00

Remember the movie The Wizard of Oz? I loved it when I was a kid. I knew every word and every song from watching it over and over. It was a close second to Annie. I always shuddered during the parts with the flying monkeys, laughed at the teeny munchkins, and marveled at Glenda the good witch.

In less than two weeks I am going home. Much like the movie, my life in Denver became black and white and I went on a search for Technicolor. What better place to do that than California? Everything is bright, new, and different. I have encountered tin men, scarecrows, and the like out here. I was swept up in a necessary twister of befuddlement and amongst the budding plot lines, was smacked into a harsh reality.

I remember a part at the end of the movie when Dorothy says something like, “I know now if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire, I don’t need to go any further than my own backyard.”

That is how I would sum up the lessons learned on this misadventure. Does life get boring and monotonous sometimes? Yep. Is part of being a grownup dealing with it? Unfortunately, yep.

P.S. In other news, I logged into my blogger account this morning and all of the blogs I read disappeared from my queue and somehow the internet erased me as a follower from the blogs I read. Darn it! I didn’t mean to “un-follow” you; it might take some time for me to find everyone again.

2009-04-14T10:18:00.001-06:00

It happened.

I am now closer to thirty than to twenty.

One year older, and a hell-of-a-lot wiser.

Beware of Foreshadowing

2009-04-12T11:47:00.005-06:00

So, a proverbial change of heart has taken place and some decisions have been made. I called my dad today to wish him a happy Easter and to tell him that after a lot of thought, we are moving back to Denver. I was expecting for him to advise me to stick it out and hang in there. But instead, he said something along the lines of at least we have the courage to make mistakes. And more importantly, life is full of ups and downs and the key is to have more ups than downs. Sometime during the three and a half years of living in Denver, it became home without us even realizing it. We have gotten our apartment back, now all we have to do is get our lives back. Hopefully, there will be many ups in our future. Happy Easter!

Looking for Answers

2009-04-09T14:39:00.002-06:00

I am full of questions. I cannot help it; there is just so much strange information out in the world pleading for me to get my informative hands on it. My inquiries know no confines.

I tackle global issues. How far would we have to go in the ocean to reach international waters? I ponder diversity. Why are there never white people working at sushi restaurants? I delve into holy contemplation. Why do we celebrate Easter, again, and where do the eggs come in? Even cuisine is not safe from my inquest. Who came up with the idea of frozen yogurt? Did they have a beef with ice cream or something? Why has no one invented beer flavored frozen yogurt? I’d eat that.

More often than not, my husband shoulders the brunt of my queries in the car on the way to somewhere. After attempting an answer the following conversation usually takes place:

Him: I guess I don’t know, wait, how am I supposed to know?

Me: I don’t know. You know lots of stuff. I thought maybe you’d have read it somewhere.

Him: Where would I have read about the creation of frozen yogurt?

Me: I don’t know. I was just wondering. Maybe you’ll read about it somewhere in the future and remember that I was wondering.

At this point he usually just shakes his head and we move on.

The strange part is that I don’t necessarily need an answer and it is not likely that I will not wiki it when we get home. In my opinion though, they are valid questions to throw out there. Someday I am going to win a big screen TV in a bar trivia competition or something. We’ll see who’s laughing then.

The stranger part is I have a picture in my head of my husband reading in a waiting room and learning the answers to all of my questions in some magazine. I wonder what magazine it is.

Let The Sunshine In

2009-04-08T11:47:00.006-06:00

The trouble began right before we moved to San Diego. Bobaloo and I have had a barrage of bad luck. We have been thwacked by the world more times than I care to count. It started with Bobaloo's identity being stolen in Denver followed by major car repairs that were not in the moving budget.

I came out here and found an apartment that is too small, had my identity stolen, and last week had to buy a new starter for the old Taurus. Not to mention the stress of Bobaloo looking for a job and the both of us trying to adapt to a new place and a new life and missing Denver quite a bit. It's been a rough run.

We have been doing our best to stay positive and have been doing everything karmicly (I don't think that's a word) possible to turn things around.

Here is some awesomeness amidst the calamity:

I get the biggest kick out of the weather forecast on the news. Here is an example of a typical forecast: Today we're expecting it to be nice, tomorrow we are expecting another beautiful day, but look out, the temps are going to plummet to 55 on Saturday. Ha!

Pacific and Mission beaches have the best people watching in town.

We had our maiden voyage to Trader Joe's last weekend. Wow. There was no possible way for me to contain my excitement and focus there. We found such low-priced delights as vodka, green bean chips, and soy chorizo. Soy chorizo! If that is out there, think of the possibilities! The chorizo was muy delicioso by the way.

The Little Italy farmers market is charming. It is quaint and there are all sorts of fresh goodies and samples. I love samples.

The Aero-Club Bar is a friendly neighborhood joint we found last week with good peeps and good booze.

We mysteriously have cable. I do not know how long it will last but I am enjoying every second of it.

I get to see my sis-in-law and nephew on a bi-weekly basis. It is neat to see the little guy trying to say new things and getting big. Plus, I get to look forward to being an aunt to forthcoming baby two.

Last but not least, it is April and I have a tan.

P.S. How does the song go? Is it "let the sushine in" or "let the sun shine in" with a space between "sun" and "shine?" Hmmm... I suppose it doesn't really matter.

Swimming Lessons

2009-04-02T12:05:00.000-06:00

Living in San Diego, Bobaloo and I live quite close to the ocean now. I’m talking under a mile. When we made the decision to move here I had dreams of hanging by the ocean and taking it in on a hot day that includes picnics, Frisbee, tunes, the whole nine yards.

Bobaloo and I were talking about going to Pacific Beach to hang out this weekend. Only now, has the realization that I cannot swim set in. And while the ocean is beautiful, I am terrified of it. Not to mention shark attacks.

Growing up my family vacationed in Florida twice. Both times we stayed in hotels next to the beach where we swam in shark-free, five-foot pools next to the ocean. My dad would not let us go into the sea over our knees because of the omnipotent undertow, thus, my irrational fear of the dark deep-sea.

I think about this and the birthday resolutions I am going to make in a couple of weeks and am thinking it might be time to sign up for swimming lessons at the local community center.

Lord Hornblower

2009-04-01T12:05:00.002-06:00

So, this last weekend my little bro was in town for spring break. This kid has seen and done everything by the age of 17 due to my older bro and me living in awesome locales. I was kind of stumped on what to do with him and also a little short on fun money.

For $25 apiece, I booked tickets for us to cruise the 26 miles around San Diego Harbor. When we got on the boat we found chairs for the three of us on the left side of the boat, or port side if you will, for all of my pirate readers. Ahoy, by the way. The whole tour was of everything on the right side of the boat. Oops!

We saw Diego the whale’s shadow. The poor thing is stuck in the harbor. Who gets to name the whales anyway? I have to say, it is kind of a lame name for a whale. If I had a whale, I woud probably name him Walter. What would you name your whale?

Halfway through the tour, we found a table on the sun deck where we were able to indulge in a beer and some chips. Some awesome chips. Chips in the shape of a whale’s tale. I took pictures. And as soon as I find my camera cable I will upload them. Anyway, we proceeded to get sunburned, which was awesome. Because it was March.

After the boat ride, we topped the day off with some pizza, frozen yogurt, and the movie Anchorman. I think my bro got a good taste of San Diego.

Whose got the funk?

2009-03-27T12:27:00.001-06:00

I haven’t felt like myself the last two weeks. With the move, Bobaloo going back and forth, and the newness of San Diego I feel like I am in panic mode or survival mode. You wouldn’t know it from the outside; I appear to be very cool, calm, and collected. Well, as cool as I can be.

Lately, just getting through the day expends so much disorderly energy that I a have nothing left in my tank when I get home. I just want to sleep and not think about anything. I am not sad, but I am not altogether happy either. I guess, just sort of existing.

Realistically, everything is fine. I have no more or no less worries than I did in Denver. Maybe it is all of the change.

Hopefully, this weekend will snap me out of my funk. My little brother Kyle is in town for spring break and we are headed to the beach!

Swedish Stuff

2009-03-20T16:59:00.002-06:00

Tonight after work, I get to go to the wonder that is Ikea. When I lived in Minnesota there was an Ikea right by the Mall of America. It was blue and yellow and glorious. Three years in Colorado were Ikea-free. Now, I am happy to announce there a store in San Diego containing a whole lot of Swedish goodness and I will happily betray my Norwegian ancestry and revel somewhere between bedding and kitchenware.

Oh. All the stuff! I love stuff. Tonight’s adventure is to result in shelving, lots of shelving. Apparently I way underestimated how much stuff we have and our apartment is tiny. I am talking, tiny. I am about halfway finished with the unpacking. Bobaloo is getting his car from Colorado and I hope to have the place lookin’ sweet by the time he comes home to San Diego.

Aside from unpacking, this weekend includes another trip to Little Italy’s farmers market for groceries. The hunt for the perfect slice of blog-worthy pizza will also continue.

Pictures to come soon.

3 Weeks

2009-03-12T10:42:00.000-06:00

The wait is almost over. On Saturday my beloved is scheduled to arrive after a long day of driving. I miss him, I miss my bed, I miss my stuff. I moved from Colorado three weeks ago. Some days have gone by quickly, and other days have been excruciatingly difficult and long. Nevertheless, I cannot wait for Bobaloo to get here. I am very excited for him to see our new teensy weensy apartment in the middle of the city.

This week took a turn for the better at work and I am feeling more comfortable there. The drive to and from work is short and I can take walks by the ocean on my lunch break. After work on Monday, I found a neat little bar downtown. I have also gone to the beach and found the boardwalk in the harbor. Over all, I consider this week a success and my best since moving here.

Tomorrow night I am going to watch the sunset at the harbor and Saturday I plan to go to the farmer's market in Little Italy. My goal is to enjoy the free time now, because once those boxes arrive on Saturday there is loads of unpacking and decorating to do.

10 Questions

2009-03-11T12:42:00.004-06:00

This meme came from Lora's awesome blog.

This is the famous "Ten Questions" as popularized by James Lipton on "Inside the Actor's Studio," originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, after the Proust Questionnaire.

1. What is your favorite word?

Anticipation

I am filled with anticipation. This word invokes a lot of excitement, to me it means the good kind of waiting. Hope, I guess. As in, I am anticipating your arrival. I am full of anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Supposedly

I can't stand this word because many people mispronounce it, which is very irritating. Argh.

3. What turns you on?

Music

Whether at home or at a show, I love music. It has the ability to transform any situation or occasion.

4. What turns you off?

Boredom

I cannot stand being bored. I am one of those people who constantly need to be entertained all. the. time.

5. What sound do you love?

Happiness

I love the sound of people having fun whether it be in glasses clanking at bars, people cheering at shows, friends gabbing over coffee, etc. When I hear people having fun and enjoying life, it makes me want to have fun and enjoy life too.

6. What sound do you hate?

Burping.

I know it's natural, but it just grosses me out.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Currently, bitch-ass.

As in, if your bitch-ass could return my call at your earliest convenience, that'd be great.

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

Dentist

Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to take a whack at dentistry. If it weren't for so much bitch-ass schooling, I might have given it a try.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Daycare Worker

I like kids, but I think I would lose my sanity.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gate?

Happy hour starts at three.

Personally

2009-03-10T11:18:00.001-06:00

I am happy with the decision move to San Diego thus far. The climate and the few things I have checked out are phenomenal. I have met a few characters out here who are warm and friendly.

It's been a little rough at the new job. I am weighing my situation and options. Yesterday, panic attacks ensued, things went very sour very quickly.

I received a few pep talks yesterday. After a rough Monday, I went to get a beer and met this gentleman from India who advised that as long as I had a clear concience I am doing the right thing.

My concience is a little cloudy. I feel a little uncomfortable doing what I do. My dad said to keep a stiff upper lip and see the writing on the wall.

At this point, I am doing my best to hang in there and am trying not take shit from anyone. Which is totally not my personality. I take things personally.

Maybe I should go work at Seaworld. Shamu is awesome.

Routines

2009-03-09T12:20:00.002-06:00

It is hard to start new routines. I am in a quasi-routine right now. Both feet are in California but my heart is still in Colorado. It's different. I am alone and have all the time in the world to write, but I do not. I haven't found my writing routine yet; my ritual.

I used to have a job that slowed down mid-morning and I would write my entries up and post them at around the same time everyday. They were quality entries (at least to me) and I could not wait until it was time to get started on that day's entry. My situation at my new job is quite different. No blogging allowed.

Although it doesn't matter too much, I feel like I have so much in my head and cannot figure out where and how to get it all out. I am having a hard time differentiating between if I am stressed out and anxious or if I am loca en la cabeza.

Perhaps, when I have furniture it will be a little more conducive to writing. I miss my couch.

On a brighter note, I am exploring. Getting around town with no worries is a pretty awesome feeling. Our little apartment is cute and the middle of the city. I am excited to be a city dweller. The noises, the hustle and bustle, the street parking, everything! I was able to take a two-minute drive last night to the harbor and look at the boats and the ocean. What a sight. I am excited for all of the upcoming adventures when Bobaloo gets here. Until then, tonight I begin the hunt for the perfect slice of pizza.

Better Now

2009-03-06T08:13:00.003-07:00

After a week of sulking, I am better now. The week went by quickly and I am getting the hang of everything at work. I was told to go to hell and called the c-word by some callers, but I didn't take it personally. Over my lunch break I drive down the palm tree-lined roads and go to a park next to the ocean. Awesome! This weekend I am going up to North County to stay with my sister-in-law and nephew which will be a nice change from hanging out with myself. I am not sure what exactly we will be doing, but it is nice to hang out on the patio with the little guy and play. One more week until Bobaloo and my stuff arrive. I am getting pretty excited for him to get here so we can do all sorts of exploring.

California Dreamin'

2009-03-01T21:42:00.004-07:00

I have never lived alone before and can say for certain that I am not digging it. On the one hand, I am proud to have accomplished many "grown-up" tasks by myself, on the other hand it sucks. Bobaloo is in Colorado for a couple of weeks and I am here in California. I found an apartment yesterday and moved in today. It's going to be a long two weeks. Let me paint a picture. Me on an air mattress in the living room huddled around the computer eating cheese and crackers and drinking a coke. An empty apartment aside from a few clothes, a shower liner, and some food. I bought a CD player clock radio because I didn't think to bring a TV. Boy, is it quiet around here. Aah. The Californian dream. I love the palm trees, but miss my husband. Hopefully the work week will keep my mind busy so time flies by.

2009-02-27T09:57:00.003-07:00

I am officially in California on an adventure that began six days ago. I will be blogging with more frequency when I have a place to live.

Here are some things I've learned the past six days:

It doesn't matter how old you are, sometimes you still need your mommy.
Just because you've gotten A's in school doesn't mean you get an A in life.
Cacti are really, really cool in the desert.
Marriage is awesome and it sucks to be away from your spouse for an extended period of time.
I drove forty miles on a five-lane highway, had a rough first day of work, and made it back to where I am staying without taking a Xanax, crying, or being scared. Sometimes confidence peeks out when you least expect it and more importantly, when you most need it.
Just because technically you don't have home doesn't mean you still can't miss it.
California is as beautiful as I remember.

Well, I should have time to tell all my stories this weekend. Later!

On Coffee

2009-02-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

The perfect cup of coffee does not taste like coffee at all. It is filled with caramel, chocolate, and topped with whipped cream. It comes in a white paper cup with a hole in the black lid. The whipped cream oozes skillfully out of the hole delightfully tempting my taste buds.

On Friday mornings, my husband and I drive separately to the local coffee shop. It gives a chance to smoke a couple of cigarettes, enjoy the delicious goodness that is Kona coffee and most importantly, we get a chance to have a nice chat before heading off in our separate ways to face the day.

The smell inside the coffee shop is superb. The shop is not too bright too early. Occasionally there is a line although it is not so bad because everything smells so delicious. The baristas are pleasant but not overly cheery; they have started to use my first name. This is nice. There are brunette coffee beans for sale in candy machines that are lined against the chocolate colored wall. Animal paintings are for sale and surround coffee and teapots that are scattered on shelves.

Every so often, we will make coffee at home and I do not indulge in a cup during the workday. Fridays are an indulgence, a delicacy in our world of hurried breakfasts and Coca-Cola. This Friday morning ritual is a great reminder to take time out to enjoy the morning and a great cup of caffeinated splendor.

Twitter-pated

2009-02-18T09:36:00.001-07:00

Technology can be scary. It makes life so easy but still it is hard to take the leap and know what is truly the latest and the greatest. It took me a couple of attempts to get a blog up because I was afraid of putting myself out there. Forty posts in, I feel I am comfortable.

I tried Twitter yesterday for forty-eight minutes and felt that it crossed some sort of boundary. Am I really interesting enough to follow 24-7? Probably not. Facebook, blogging, and an email account are enough for right now.

How do you feel about Twitter?

Dwellings

2009-02-16T10:11:00.001-07:00

I am feeling a wave of anxiety with the start of a new week. It is the last week in Denver.

Yesterday, Bobaloo and I went to say goodbye to Boulder. It is where we started in Colorado. When I look back at me when we first came here, I was so scared of everything and everyone. There have been many changes. I was able to find the closest Target on the third day of living in Boulder, for the next two weeks everywhere I went I mapped out by its proximity to Target. Now, I can find any Target in a twenty-mile radius.

It was the first time we lived together, my first home without my parents, and the start of many fine adventures. I will miss Pearl Street and the 470 square foot apartment we shared, called “The Shoebox.” Our first summer was filled with afternoons with Gary the Squirrel, grilling, and we started what would become a three and a half year Yahtzee tournament.

We lived in the “Chicken Coop” after Boulder. It has been torn down along with all the bad memories of the place that could do no right. We met many great neighbors in this place. We were able to walk around downtown Golden whether to see the creek or get a beer and play air hockey. I look back at that time and remember how excited I was to start school and Bobaloo finally got the hang of fly-fishing. This was the year my brother went to Iraq for the first time, I became an aunt, and we went and saw John Prine for my birthday.

The place we live in now is my favorite and I will miss it a lot. The apartment has no name yet. I love the two patios, especially the one overlooking the pool. We are minutes from Red Rocks where we have seen Widespread Panic every summer. There is a lot of sunlight in the windows. It is the first place we unpacked every box and decorated. We have the proximity of the mountains and the city. This apartment has seen us check out the Denver scene, learn to snowshoe, host our first Christmas, and get married. We have made excellent friends at the local watering hole, and have had great neighbors, aside from the yapping dog.

Goodbye Colorado. Not forever, just for now.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T12:33:00.005-07:00

Bobaloo and I are not big celebrators of Valentine's Day. Today, we are having some cocktails and making some food at home. But, in honor of the day of love here are seven out of a thousand reasons I love my husband. If you have a propensity for getting nauseous at the sight of schmaltz, you might want to skip this post!

Bobaloo has the best smile. It can be empathetic, charming, and goofy depending on which one is needed.

Only he can make me laugh until I cry. I love his sense of humor and Carl the Curmudgeon.

Because he is adventurous, our life is never boring. I am so excited for our next adventure.

After we got married I didn't think anything would change. It turns out I love him more everyday.

Living with him, I have found him to be the best cook ever. He is very talented with calzones and pasta with white sauce.

Once I told my best friend I'd only get married if I found someone who loved music more than I did. I met him and married him and his c.d. collection.

Our song is "You Made Me Unlonely" by John Prine. The song is beautiful and Bobaloo has made me unlonely.

Happy VD

2009-02-13T10:27:00.007-07:00

Well, apparently everyone is celebrating VD a day early. I found this interesting heretical rhyme generator and wrote a VD poem for my blog. Go ahead and try it out!

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Poem/

Ode to Blog

I love you blog, happy Valentine's Day

as you drift abroad to the shores

Through the Fjords of Norway

and please don't score.

Wait, what?!? Anyway, happy Friday the 13th and Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Pie Day Part II. Big up Canada!

2009-02-12T08:56:00.001-07:00

Have you ever tried having an intervention while you were drunk? I don't recommend it and I am terribly hungover.

Da Plague! Da Plague!

2009-02-11T09:17:00.002-07:00

My dad compares giving two weeks notice to having the plague. I agree. The first few days have been somewhat awkward. I planned a “Pie Day” for Friday, hopefully that will ease the rigidity. It is probably one of those scenarios where people hate change in the landscape of every day life. I cannot say I contribute too much to the office except for a little humor and well, pie.

Oh well.

I am very excited about the move now because everything is lining up as well as possible. My mom is going to fly to Denver and road trip with me to San Diego. Woo-hoo! She is referring to the road trip as, “Jill and Mom’s excellent adventure.” Wow. I will be sure to bring the camera for this.

Yay.

I am proud to announce that this morning is the last time I will ever scrape my windshield. I really hate getting up earlier to do that. People should not have to preheat their cars; it should be a rule or something. Navigating the frozen roads with ice-covered idiots driving frantically is the worst.

Endings and Beginnings

2009-02-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

I accepted the job in San Diego and in two and half weeks will be living there. Everything has been such a whirlwind. The hardest part was giving two weeks notice to a job that I really enjoy most days. It made me sick to my stomach to say farewell. Goodbyes are hard. I prefer them to be quick and painless, not long and drawn out.

It is hard to believe that I have two weeks to say goodbye to everyone and everything that has been so wonderful in Denver. However, it is real. The apartment is already loaded with boxes and planning has commenced.

I am excited to stay with my sister-in-law and nephew and have the opportunity to get to know them better. I am bummed and a little nervous to be away from my husband for a short time. I am jazzed about the new job and meeting new people and sad to leave such good friends behind.

What a mix of emotions.

I did it

2009-02-06T15:32:00.001-07:00

I got the job in San Diego. Stay classy.

Home Fires

2009-02-05T13:14:00.003-07:00

Like everyone else, my husband and I are feeling the effects of the economy. We have been trying to save money this winter and the easiest way to do this has been to stop going out. That is easier said than done since we are happy hour regulars. Give us an excuse to go out. Anything. It could be poker night though we do not play cards, karaoke night though we do not sing, or just friends getting together.

About a year ago, we met our friend Sam at a local watering hole. He is a hell of a good friend who moved to Colorado many years ago from South Louisiana. While he is a Coloradan now, he still has a hint of his drawl and plenty of southern charm. He too, was looking for ways to save money.

This is how the every-other-weekend bonfire got started. Sam has a beautiful home and a large backyard. His roommate J. bought him a portable fire pit, which is placed on his patio surrounded by metal chairs. Bonfire parties are a lot cheaper than the bar. All you need is firewood, beer, and tunes.

There are some evenings when it is just Bobaloo, Sam, and I at the fire and nights when there are a dozen people. Anyone is welcome to stop by and stay as long as they would like. Some nights we shut it down at midnight and there are bonfires that see the morning light.

Something happens to people when they sit around the fire. There is comedy, philosophy, and some good old-fashioned bull shitting that occurs. Everyone brings their brand of something to the fire.

Bobaloo is the fire-poker who loves to throw logs on and switch between the teepee and Lincoln log fires. Sam loves to put the music on and does well at matching the evening’s mood. I make snowmen and put them in any empty chairs. They usually turn out scary looking, but that is my contribution. J. brings jokes and James Brown to the bonfire.

Some evenings there are musicians, people from faraway lands, or old friends. At ten degrees, there we are, all bundled up and huddled around the warm fire. It must be a sight to see.

Miracles

2009-02-05T10:54:00.001-07:00

I just found out my prescription is $500 month. The pills are a welcome miracle. Apparently I cannot afford miracles.

2009-02-04T10:25:00.002-07:00

Well, I had a job interview for a job in San Diego yesterday. The interview went really well but I worry that they will choose someone who currently lives in the area. I am so nervous. I am trying not to build it up too much. However, if I get the job I will be a Californian by the end of the month. If not, we will still move there over the summer. Top 10 reasons to move to San Diego:

I have family there.
The city is more "happening" than Denver.
The ocean.
Dini's by the Sea.
Ron Burgundy.
The climate.
Proximity to Mexico.
It's a totally new scene.

I can't think of ten. Eight will just have to do. Keep your fingers crossed!

Wordle

2009-02-04T10:20:00.001-07:00

Let's Share

2009-02-02T09:38:00.003-07:00

I was tagged on Facebook to do this. I thought I would bring it over here. Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. Consider all of y'all tagged.

When I was little, I wanted to be a dentist so I could drill out the teeth of my enemies. Sadist.
I still have the phone numbers to Mr. Movies and Dominoes Pizza in Apple Valley, MN memorized.
I got married on one of my best friend's birthday (Amy).
I collect trolls, books, rocks, coins, etc. Stuff in general.
I just learned to play catch two years ago. Well, sort of. I can play with a Frisbee, but still not a ball. Baby steps.
I love the smell of hotels. And Sharpies.
I love moving. Whether it be to a new state, city, or apartment. I hope to be living in California by the end of summer.
I am a terrible cook. My husband does all of the cooking in our house. I make scrambled eggs in the microwave.
I love to swim, even though I do not know how.
I am almost finished at Red Rocks Community College. I hope to be at San Diego State by this time next year to study Spanish, English, or Linguistics, or a combination of them.
I am a blogger and have four people who regularly read my blog. Yep, I am sure this makes me somewhat famous.
I am a very shy and nervous person.
If I were not so shy, I would start a band with my friends Jillian and Rachael. However, I do not know how we would do long-distance practices. Hmmm. I also do not know what the band name would be although I have TONS of great ideas!
I am obsessive about brushing my teeth. My social paranoia is having food in them.
I had my first legal beer with my dad at Shenanigans in Rosemount, MN and my first legal cocktail with my husband at Billy on Grand in St. Paul, MN.
My younger brother Kyle will not be my friend on Facebook.
For a skinny person, I am fanatical about food. I seriously love food more than life itself. I especially adore appetizers.
I met my husband Bobaloo at a Halloween party. He was dressed as John Belushi from Animal House. I did not have a costume on.
Three of our friends who were at the party we mat at were also at our Halloween wedding reception six years later to the date. http://picasaweb.google.com/ScrambledJill/TheWeddingReception?feat=directlink
Since moving to Colorado, I have learned how to gold pan. It is a very relaxing and Zen-like activity.
I have known most of my friends longer than I have not. I have known some friends longer than I have known my brother. I love them dearly.
I love to read. I started with a list of 100 books to read before I die. I keep adding to the list so that I never have to die, there are about 230 books on my list to read now.
I am a receptionist, which is somewhat hilarious because I am an introvert who does not like talking on the phone.
Coca-Cola is my favorite beverage. Even when there's not rum in it.
I took me a really long-ass time to come up with 25 things. Thanks for reading.

Are you there internet? It's me Jill

2009-02-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Internet,

I never knew how much I would miss not having you around. I actually looked forward to coming to work today because you were broken at home. All weekend, if I wanted to see you I had to go to the library.

My Facebook status has been stagnant, my bank accounts have gone unchecked, my blog unwritten in, and my inbox slowly filled with junk mail. I could not watch my favorite HBO shows or read the newest headlines.

What was I to do? I did not have anyone to have virtual happy hour with. I did my homework because there was not an easily accessible procrastination tool that could compare to you.

I cleaned. Yes, you heard me. Things got desperate on a boring Sunday night without you.

I hope that we will be together again by the end of today. I did not realize how much I needed you. Please come back.

Love,

Jill

I Wa-wa-wa-wa wonder Friday

2009-01-30T09:21:00.005-07:00

Bluetooth Annoyance Very Funny - Awesome video clips here

How do you pluralize bluetooth? Are they blueteeth? I have two bluetooths or I have two blueteeth? Wow. I need to get back to work.

Ode to Perkins

2009-01-29T14:26:00.001-07:00

I am a fan of breakfast, a huge fan at that. If I could, I would eat breakfast for every meal, which I am sure my husband would not appreciate.

We love to go out for breakfast on the weekends. We usually find out-of-the-way gems of diners to check out. Sometimes though, if we are too hungry or hung-over we end up just going to the Perkins that is a few blocks away.

This is always an experience.

Mushroom and Cheese omelet, hash browns, wheat toast and iced tea. After a late night, we ventured out for an enormous breakfast. We were seated next to the most hilarious group of older people. There were probably twelve of them and every other word was “yeah” or “wow.” Seriously, it sounded like a recording because of the dishes clanking with intermittent “yeahs” and “wows” at different intervals. A symphony of yeah-yeah-wow-clank-yeah-clank-wow. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Two eggs over easy, wheat toast, fruit, and orange juice. We were seated across the room from an older couple. The restaurant was packed and we were just finishing our delicious breakfast. All of a sudden, the old man across the room decides to pick out a new ring tone on his cell phone. Therefore, he goes down the list of every single blaring ring and serenades us. This went on for many minutes and was sidesplitting. Everyone in the room seemed to mind except for the old man, his wife, and Bobaloo (because he was laughing so hard).

Eggs Benedict with pancakes and iced tea. Now, when you eat out for breakfast it is pretty much agreed upon that you order an obnoxiously large plate of food; a feast. We sat behind a couple on their first date. What does the guy order? Cereal and fruit. Cereal? Cereal. That is all I need to know about a man before it is the last date.

The Veggie egg scramble, a muffin, and sprite. I am willing to surmise that Bobaloo offer our brand of comedy to other patrons, especially on nights like these. You know them. We closed down the bar and were starving so we made a very rational decision, Perkins! We stumble in and sit between philosophical college students, stoner high school kids, and other rambunctious bar-closers. The next morning it is always agreed that for once, maybe breakfast was not the greatest idea.

Make New Friends

2009-01-28T10:44:00.003-07:00

Friends are a peculiar thing. I have known most of my friends longer than I have not. When moving to Colorado, I was terrified that my bashfulness would not allow me to make many new friends.

In Minnesota, my friends were the most devoted and dependable companions and we watched each other grow into varying degrees of adulthood. My old friends have telepathy, a sixth sense where they know that I am thinking of them. For example, yesterday I wrote about my best friend growing up and later in the evening she texted me. I have not spoken with her in months. In the morning, I merely thought about a very good friend and she called because she saw a commercial about Colorado.

My best friend is the greatest. We usually email or Facebook back and forth. She sends me stuff when I most need it. She somehow knows when I am having a bad day and a goofy email card will magically pop up in my inbox.

I have often felt bad since moving here because I am awful at keeping in touch. I send Christmas cards and that is about it. I hate talking on the phone. I also feel guilty when I am meeting new friends out here, as if I am slowly replacing the old ones.

I remember a song from Brownies:

Make new friends, But keep the old, One is silver and The other’s gold

My friends that I left behind are truly gold. I miss them terribly on days that I am down in the dumps and especially on days of great cheerfulness. I miss the little nuances and inside jokes of their lives and they miss mine.

Since moving to Colorado, I have met amazing friends. I do not even know how it happened. They just kind of trickled into my life. Although I have not known them long, they are here physically and provide much warmth in times of loneliness. That is what makes them gold.

Pie-Day Friday

2009-01-27T10:12:00.002-07:00

So, apparently last Friday was National Pie Day. I am a little miffed about this because nobody even sent a card. Therefore, I missed what could be my favorite holiday. So, I have declared February 13th Pie-Day Friday at work. A do-over. I wish I could declare do-overs so easily in other aspects of my life! Anyway, show your pie pride and eat pie on February 13th. Mmmm...pie. P.S. Did you know there was a National Pie Council?