The way friendships start and end at different measure is strange. I have had fast friends and have also cultivated closeness with folks over the distance of many years. The latter have turned out to be some of my most valued and true friendships. I have lost touch bit by bit with people with whom I was once inseparable. Also, I have had the uneasy experience of quickly dropping out of or being dropped out of someone’s life.
A couple of weeks ago I had a friend come into town for a short visit. She was a neighbor of Bobaloo’s when he and I were dating. Bobaloo and I would often sit on the deck having beers and listening to tunes and she and her husband would come over after work. Slowly but surely, after three years she became quite a close friend. She was someone who became unwaveringly thoughtful, compassionate, and protective towards me. I offered the same friendship to her. I look back at those times on the deck and think of a happy, happy stretch of life. Meeting her was providential circumstance.
We have seen each other a couple of times in the last seven
years, the last being four years ago.
Marriage happened, babies were had, and moves, school, and everything in
between began to take up the adulthood of our lives. Eventually, even our infrequent phone calls
came to an end. Our friendship became a
yearly Christmas card.
She came into town a couple of weeks ago for a conference
and we made plans to get together and catch a few drinks downtown. Even though some years had passed since I saw
her last, I was more excited than nervous to see her.
So, after Bobaloo and I navigated our way to a parking spot
in the city and entered the crowded bar I sent a text letting her know I was
there. After a few minutes a familiar
embrace from behind my shoulders was followed by a familiar voice. We found a place to sit. Pictures were shown of children, school and
work updates were exchanged, and some of the more somber happenings of our
lives were shared. Life had moved on, but
not between me and her. We picked up
just where we had left off, chattering away.
We headed to a tavern later and smoked cigarettes on the
patio. I apologized for not being better
in touch and told her I missed her. She
told me that even though we don’t speak on the regular that she knows she can
always call me when things shake down and that I will always answer. She thought it was an unspoken understanding
between us two.
I am lucky to have the kind of pals who will answer my call.
And it’s nice to know now, that I am
that friend to someone too.
