6 Lessons of Sobriety

If you made a certain resolution to quit certain beverages for a 100 days, you are on day 70. Just to let you know. 30 days left? Piece of cake!

It’s been a strange 70 days since I stopped with the boozing. My ears still ring at 5 o’clock on Friday. Every once in a while I have a hankering for a cold beer or a rum and coke. The cravings have subsided greatly from the first couple of weeks. The first two weeks were the most difficult. It was bizarre to order non-alcoholic beers at happy hour and keep drinking and drinking and never catch a buzz. Lesson 1; Coca-Cola gives you more of a buzz then non-alcoholic beer. There is a bar in town that serves Coors NA and that is my drink of choice these days. Lesson 2, non-alcoholic beer is a sipping drink; all it does is make you need to pee.

The strange part about going to the bar sober is having in the past had buzzed conversations with people you now have no idea who they are or what you were babbling about. Lesson 3; sober conversations are more memorable but not nearly as exciting. I have also noticed people are curious why I am not drinking, when I tell them it’s a new year’s resolution they seem disappointed. It has taken bar patrons a little more time than usual to warm up to me and to start chatting. Lesson 4; making up a more interesting reason for my sobriety might lead to more friends.

Driving home after spending a few sober hours at the bar is quite the experience. Driving without paranoia and how quick the ride goes is amazing. Lesson 5; getting home sober is good. It is odd to have a kiddy cocktail (Shirley Temple) nightcap instead of a couple of beers to top off the night. I don’t wake up tired and go to work hung-over. Lesson 6; moderation would be a good virtue to permanently have.

The strangest thing about my sobriety is that I am always hungry, and hungry for sweets. I am generally not a sweet tooth but these days give me chocolates, give me cake, give me ice cream and I will down it. I thought quitting drinking would lead to me dropping a couple of pounds, but instead I think I’ve gained a couple. Lesson 6; weight gained is well worth it, yum.

Flinching

I dropped out of college after one week. I was in Fargo which was a telltale factor, and my resident advisor tried to save me. We had a “divine appointment with God.” I can chalk the whole experience up now as too much, too fast, too soon. Back in those days I wanted change so much, but flinched when it actually came to pass.

When I told my dad of my plans to drop out he understood and said something along the lines of, I know what it’s like to be somewhere you don’t want to be. He picked me up from Fargo and the ride back to Minneapolis was the longest (and quietest) I have ever experienced. We even stopped and ate Chinese food. During lunch, there were no lectures, no evil looks, and most importantly, no questions. As long as I wasn’t running away from something, I was able to go home.

But what was I running to? At the time, the last place I wanted to be after North Dakota was at home with my parents; I wanted out of the suburbs. I think I wanted to find myself, but that September instead of books and pencils, I got a job assembling cables for a neighbor. As the months grew colder I slid into desolation and despondency. I thought my life was tragic and I extracted myself from the world I thought I would live in.

I became a townie. I had two friends who stayed in town after graduation and the three of us would go to Denny’s every Tuesday and then catch some TV and play cards. My weekends were spent going back and forth to visit a good friend away at college. I lived in the suburbs; I made friends in the suburbs, partied in the suburbs, and lost myself in the suburbs. I hung out in Wal-Mart parking lots and went to the city to cruise. I went to bonfires, house parties, and the refinery to watch it twinkle like Emerald City. Somewhere along the way I even got banned from a country line dancing bar.

These days I don’t regret not getting a traditional education. Sure, dorm life would have been a hoot and I would have my diploma on a mantel somewhere near a cap’n’gown picture with my parents. A year and a half doing cable assemblies does teach you the importance of education. As a grown-up I take community college classes when I can and hope to get a four year degree by age thirty.

It’s hard to put my finger on what I learned from coming of age in the suburbs. It know it wasn’t street smarts or anything. I guess there were a few lessons. Sometimes you need your family when you don’t want to. Sometimes unlikely friends will become best friends before you know it. Sometimes you can fight to get out of the city you grew up in and come to miss it when you leave.

Casino Land Farewell

A casualty of the casino. Cushioned chairs and cigarette machines. Endless stairways, a bird roosting at the railing. The inhale of dreggy popcorn. A blue shirt, polyester pants, and a name tag. Candles competing for consideration, hot players, and hasty money. Bellowing Blazing Sevens and jaunty jackpots. Abandoned beer bottles and wanting wine glasses. Swirling carpets and the static of slots.

A hasty farewell. You’ll do well wherever you go. It’ll suck with out you. We’ll miss ya. Take care, kiddo. Cake, a card, and cherry Prime Time cigars.