Its blog swap week and I was really excited to have the opportunity to reach out to a whole new group of readers.
We received the “blog swap” subject. On Thursday which was "Action. What will you do next year that you've been putting off for too long?" A apt question at this time of year as people begin preparing their new year’s resolutions.
I rolled the subject around in my brain batting around witty options involving hot yoga (immediately eliminated b/c of the sweating potential), making a bucket list and a multitude of other grand ideas.
I decided to let the idea marinate in my brain as I had a few days before the blogs were supposed to be posted.
I went home on Friday (to Baltimore), to launch a full scale one day/ one woman cookie bake-a- thon. I spent all day Saturday baking cookies for Christmas and as I measured I pondered my blog , as I switched around my 20th tray of cookies , I pondered , and I accidently launched a hunk of peanut butter dough at batdog I pondered. As evening fell I knew where I was going with this.
I finally called it quits around 8 and laid down on the couch with batdog to watch a little TV and rest my back.
Right before thanksgiving batdog had two sets of seizures. The parents immediately took him off to the vet where he was diagnosed with epilepsy. A seizure disorder that can occur in older dogs. He was prescribed a medicine that would help to prevent any future seizures.
After we made it through thanksgiving and then his 15th birthday with no more episodes we started to relax into the idea that maybe we were in the clear - the meds are working and the little dude was good to go.
Saturday night at 8:35 he had a seizure. I have never been more afraid of anything in my entire life. I held my dog and begged god with every fiber of my being to keep him safe. The seizure passed and I laid with my dog trying to stay calm so he wouldn't be scared. About 30 minutes later he pops up off the couch and headed outside to water mom's bushes. (They do not remember the seizures but are often stunned / exhausted by what happened)
I went to sleep Saturday night in a twin bed with half my body hanging off the bottom and my head on my dogs chest just in case.
On Sunday morning I woke to my mom sounding an urgent SOS. My grandma (mama) a beautiful feisty ninety three year old polish girl; who loves the Steelers and all things sugar, was very sick. We flew into action and got her into the hospital. A few very slow hours later we had our diagnosis of pneumonia.
Thankfully the hospital admitted her and we got her up to a room and set up with fluids and antibiotics to try and build her strength back up. So that's where I find myself laying on an uncomfortable hospital couch begging and bartering with god while my favorite person in the world lies in the bed beside me. I realize I haven't written my blog and its due tomorrow.
So while I am sure I could email my partner jill and explain what’s happening I made a commitment and I want to stick to it. So as I lay here listening to the machines beep and wrestle with some angry thoughts towards god. I find myself trying to answer the question.
Ask me four days ago and you would have gotten an elaborate blog filled with some crazy scheme to rent a Winnebago and Criss-cross the USA visiting the largest ball of twine.
Ask me tonight and you get a terrified girl who is not prepared to deal with the idea that my two favorite people in the world are not invincible. So what do I plan to do this year that I have put of forever? I am going to forget about the bullshit , I'm not going to worry about if my job sucks or I hate my commute , or traffic is backed up for miles with no explanation. I am going to put my family and my friends first and my job somewhere below getting my laundry done. Life is about so much more, and I am going to stop putting that off in 2011.
It is not my intention to be a Debbie downer on my blog - just the opposite in fact it’s my one and only goal to share stories that will make people laugh. But I am also an honest person who doesn't due fake so yes I could have amused you with insane tales and crazy photos but it just didn't seem right.
Maybe some other time.... I promise