Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Ketchup Incident

I am not sure when everything changed. I was shy when I was little and kind of nervous as a teenager. I always thought my unease with the world would be something that I grew out of.

My anxiety has only gotten worse, especially in the last couple of years.

Anxiety is tricky and awkward when navigating the world and people. I have been stressed and cried at the UPS store. I have had panic attacks at work and at King Soopers. If I am in a new situation with a crowd? Forget it. Plane rides at the moment are out of the question. My heart gets agitated. I get uncomfortable and upset.

A while back, Bobaloo and I were watching the Bears game and my eyes started welling up because I couldn’t find the nerve and got flustered about the idea of having to ask the waitress for ketchup. Bobaloo got me some ketchup. We often refer to this as “the ketchup incident.” I think that was the first time I realized how bad things had really gotten.

So if I am having a bad day and let Bobaloo know that I had a ketchup incident, he’ll know exactly what I am talking about. The problem with anxiety is that without it, I like meeting new people in new situations. I like going to concerts and being a part of the crowd. I like traveling.

I am anxious but not scared.

I have tried pulling myself up by the bootstraps, pulling it together, putting myself out there, and bucking up. None of these things seem to be very effective. I have tried different medications with varying degrees of success.

How do you ease worry and tension in your life? How do you keep the ketchup incidents at bay?


  1. Be Brave! Give yourself a little pat on the back for the daily accomplishments. I think you will be surprised at how much you take on. Maybe once you see how brave you really are, you will have the confidence to take on other things bit by bit.
    My sister struggles with anxiety. It can make life so difficult. Hang in there and good luck. I'll be thinking of you.

  2. as I get older, the ketchup incidents get closer and closer together. What is that? I'm trying to keep things in perspective, but WHOA. WHOA.

    You aren't alone in this.


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