Tuesday, October 15, 2013

A Glimpse of a Bad Day

Welcome back despair.  How have you been?  Same old, same old?  Good for you.

Me?  I’ve been content and awesome and satisfied with how hard I work to keep you at a distance.  And then you had the audacity to show up and fuck things up.  Pardon my French, but I think after all of the crap you put me through; you can have a few curse words slung your way.  So, fuck you.

Last week I felt the anxiety swelling up and making a heavy knot in my stomach.  A little later the sinking feeling of worthlessness crept in and my skin started to crawl.  And by the end of the day there were tears and I was the worst person in the universe and nobody loved me and I was a waste of space.  I felt claustrophobic in my own body and wanted to get out of it.  I wanted to be out of my skin.
The sky was falling.
I picked up an anti-anxiety prescription the next day and numbed out.  I took deep breaths and did my best to remember that the sinking feeling wouldn’t last forever and that I have people who love me very much.  And my body and my soul and my skin are blessings.  Blessings I have been charged to care for.
And just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

**Things are back to being hunky-dory**


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