Me? I’ve been content and awesome and satisfied with how hard I work to keep you at a distance. And then you had the audacity to show up and fuck things up. Pardon my French, but I think after all of the crap you put me through; you can have a few curse words slung your way. So, fuck you.
Last week I felt the anxiety swelling up and making a heavy knot in my stomach. A little later the sinking feeling of worthlessness crept in and my skin started to crawl. And by the end of the day there were tears and I was the worst person in the universe and nobody loved me and I was a waste of space. I felt claustrophobic in my own body and wanted to get out of it. I wanted to be out of my skin.
The sky was falling.
I picked up an anti-anxiety prescription the next day and numbed out. I took deep breaths and did my best to remember that the sinking feeling wouldn’t last forever and that I have people who love me very much. And my body and my soul and my skin are blessings. Blessings I have been charged to care for.
And just as quickly as it came, it was gone.
**Things are back to being hunky-dory**