Last Friday Bobaloo took me to Red Rocks to see Atmosphere. I am not characteristically a hip hop fan, but since my little brother introduced me to the group, I have been rocking out to them on my iPod on my walks.

The show was fun and the company was awesome too.

Before last Friday, the most recent shows I saw were Widespread Panic back in June. Three days of fun, I tell ya.

The Panic shows were also Red Rocks.

Why does music sound better in the summer?

We bumped into an acquaintance of Bobaloo’s last Friday at the show and he commented that he could only imagine what is on our iPods at home with the different types of shows we go to.

Sticking to one genre is so boring, don’t you think? Variety is the proverbial spice of life.

I bought a record player a couple of months ago. On the weekends I like to go to Goodwill and Arc to comb through records. I’ve found a few gems.

I prefer records to CDs. I prefer CDs to iMusic. There something about listening to an album in the order it was intended and not just pushing shuffle.

Shuffling is chaotic. I enjoy the tidiness of an album.

What have you been diggin’ on lately?

The Ketchup Incident

I am not sure when everything changed. I was shy when I was little and kind of nervous as a teenager. I always thought my unease with the world would be something that I grew out of.

My anxiety has only gotten worse, especially in the last couple of years.

Anxiety is tricky and awkward when navigating the world and people. I have been stressed and cried at the UPS store. I have had panic attacks at work and at King Soopers. If I am in a new situation with a crowd? Forget it. Plane rides at the moment are out of the question. My heart gets agitated. I get uncomfortable and upset.

A while back, Bobaloo and I were watching the Bears game and my eyes started welling up because I couldn’t find the nerve and got flustered about the idea of having to ask the waitress for ketchup. Bobaloo got me some ketchup. We often refer to this as “the ketchup incident.” I think that was the first time I realized how bad things had really gotten.

So if I am having a bad day and let Bobaloo know that I had a ketchup incident, he’ll know exactly what I am talking about. The problem with anxiety is that without it, I like meeting new people in new situations. I like going to concerts and being a part of the crowd. I like traveling.

I am anxious but not scared.

I have tried pulling myself up by the bootstraps, pulling it together, putting myself out there, and bucking up. None of these things seem to be very effective. I have tried different medications with varying degrees of success.

How do you ease worry and tension in your life? How do you keep the ketchup incidents at bay?

Liquid Superpowers

I carry a teensy weensy notebook around with me wherever I go in case I have a genius idea or thought. Genius thoughts usually do not happen. I want to be ready though, in case the big one hits.

I tend to be a mastermind when I have had a few cocktails. Who does not get liquid superpowers?

I was out on Saturday afternoon listening to music on a bar patio when I had another one of my “genius” thoughts. I quickly wrote down a few words, knowing that I would remember the significance of it all later.

old people

new people

old people were once new too

can’t get old, until you meet a few new

So, now it’s Monday morning and I have no idea what kind of note I was trying to write myself in a haze of fun.

Song lyrics, perhaps?

Does this ever happen to you?

Revolving

In movies revolving doors are hilarious, whimsical, and perhaps a little metaphorical. When you are a child, a revolving door is exciting; something to look forward to. As a kid, I ached to spin eternally.

As a grownup, I find them downright terrifying.

Dumped!

I got dumped. I met him on Craigslist and he only charged twenty-five bucks an hour, which may seem cheap but he’s a college kid just getting by. My husband said go ahead, try to hook up before I get done with work so I can pick you up on the way home. I thought it’d work out with him and my life would be so much easier.

I called him and arranged to meet at four o’clock on Tuesday. We would meet at the library for one hour. It started well, and we met up every Tuesday for a few weeks. I thought everything was going swimmingly.

Then, I got burned.

Math. He was my math tutor. And he dumped me. He stood me up. No text message, no phone call, not even an email.

How mortifying? It is hard enough sometimes to admit you need help and to reach out, and for this to happen? I am so embarrassed. My tutor quit me. And now I am left here to pick up the fragile bits and pieces of my arithmetic and algebra.

With the school year beginning again, I am faced with a problem. Do I spend a lot of money and time on remedial math courses to get to the one I need to move on? Or do I hire a tutor so I can test out, take the one math course, and move on? It all really comes down to time and money. Kind of a lot of money. A lot of money for courses that don’t “count.”

But on the other hand, we all know how the tutoring worked out. Am I that frustrating to teach? Probably. I don’t like to do stuff I am not good at, which is not one of my more endearing qualities.

To be fair, I haven’t taken a math class in more than ten years.

I am not great teaching myself math out of a book. Khan Academy is pretty cool.

Maybe there is a solution I am not thinking of.

Any suggestions?

Don't Let Me Down

When I was a teenager I used to form an opinion of how I felt about a person by what their favorite band was or which musician was their favorite. That was really shallow. I just thought it would sum up enough about the person for me to proceed however with the acquaintanceship, friendship, relationship, or whatever. I don’t know if that makes sense. Kind of snobby I suppose.

Some of my best friends listen to really crappy music. I still love them.

The night I met Bobaloo we had an exchange about Neil Young. If you like or love or appreciate Neil Young I will be devoted to you forever. If you don’t, that’s okay. Bobaloo and I had our conversation about the song Sugar Mountain almost nine years ago.

There’s a fun game I like to play (usually at happy hour). I love happy hour. It’s just so darn happy.

Sometime in my late teenage years I heard or read something (let me know if you know if you’ve heard this too.) about your favorite Beatles song and your personality. Basically, you can tell a lot about a person’s qualities by what their favorite Beatles song is.

Someone who loves Nowhere Man is going to have a totally different spirit than someone whose favorite is Blackbird or Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds or Help! or Strawberry Fields Forever and so on and so on. Well, hopefully you get the idea.

Now I know this isn’t an exact science to getting to know someone. It is fun though and even people who aren’t super into music have a favorite Beatles song (it’s usually Let it Be). The more booze, the better the analysis.

I have been playing this game for a decade now. My favorites get swapped as I get older and my life changes. When I was really little I loved Hey Jude, fifteen years ago my favorite was In My Life, ten years ago I would have said Blackbird, eight years ago Revolution 9. For a long time, I stuck with Here Comes the Sun.

The songs changed when my life changed. The songs changed my life and my life changed the songs. What?

These days, Don’t Let Me Down is the one.

Some people find the song to be kind of sorrowful; I find it sweet and sentimental which is how I am feeling these days I guess.

Go ahead, find your favorite. What does it say about you?